JALAPENO Poppers That Will Have You Holler 'Hell YEAH!'

 

    "Well, I am now officially an old bitch," was the first thing Trobee said when she arrived at the NC kitchen. It was her 26th birthday.
          I smirked. Wicked little wisecracks bubbled in my brain...but I stifled them from escaping my lips. Come summertime, after all, I would be turning the big 3-0. So instead, I asked her about the weather. ("Yeah, the sun is shining so ever brightly -- but it's cold as a muther out there!" )
           So it was her birthday on this ordinary winter day. (Just another day...." she said with a sigh.) Birthdays, in my opinion, should not be 'just another day'. At least, it is a friend's duty to stoke things up, don't you think? Flavor-food is a great way to begin. Something, something to break on through...

       "Today we are at last going to finalize... THE Jalapeno Poppers." Yes. Time to clinch the spice-formula-recipe and hurl it out into the world. (Well really I was just craving the mouthfeel. More on that later.) "How does that sound to you, Tro?"
          "Oooh! HELL yeah!"
           Ha. I figured that would do the job. Our Jalapeno Poppers, you understand, are like doing shots of crunchy-creamy-cheesy crazy spiced flavor capsules. Yes. Yes. Each popper is a missile blast, a funked-out jolt of experience. Yes. Yes. These perfect peppy jalapeno jolts would do nicely.It would tide her over, at any rate, until the night's celebrations. Which was sure to be far from humdrum, knowing her.

          Our Baked Jalapeno Poppers, at any rate, have been a Pet Project of ours for quite some time. Each manifestation has been glorious, but we figure: Why post the formula until it is perfect in every way? Until we can relay to you, Our People, the specfics?

          The origin of the 'Poppers Project' began 'some time ago' when an addiction for the standard deep-fried appetizers had me over-the-rainbow...  It is Trina who baited me in the first place. "Damn you to hell!" I would tell her as I lustily gobbled down the greasy things.
"You know, we should try making these with our spices," she suggested. "Baked, of course."

          Hm. Spice for thought. "Sure, we could try it," I told her. I added that if they weren't an improvement on the regular fried version, we'd scrap it.

         Hence, a yellow-brick spice road began to unravel for the NC...  And when we begin any spice route, we never know where it will take us. As if the roads we follow are in the shape of question marks. That is our way.


R-E-C-I-P-E  B-R-E-A-K-D-O-W-N

         "Here's the thing," I told Trobee. "The last time Trina and I made these, they didn't have enough color. They needed to be tricked out with a bit more spice. Also, we want to try putting more of the spice mixture in the bread crumb coating. So we'll try that and see how it plays out. You up for it?"

"Damn right I am. Lets get going on this beeyatch!"

*     *     *

Turmeric.

Historically at the NC, it has been a spice that Trobee has been slow to warm up to. Not going so far as to dislike it, mind you, but not having it high on her spicing-priority list either.

But as we all know, you often don't Know what you got til it's... not the 'right' brand.

See, on a previous Poppers cooking session, we had experimented with a faded (Thai) variety of turmeric. Trobee ended up getting disgruntled (i.e. pissy) at not getting the brilliant Indian-orange she had come to know (and love?)

"See how much better these bad boys turned out? I guarantee it's cause we have 'our' turmeric back."

I said nothing. Let the Voice of Realization shout loud and sink deep -- turmeric rocks. "Beautiful little bastards...." she murmured as she lovingly arrranged them on a plate.

*     *     *

Every time we make these, it is like a celebration.

"Do you catch a whiff of that?" Trobee said to Chase as she was grinding up the masala. "MMMMM! I can't WAIT to eat these!"

By now, we had the method down to perfection. "Courty! These are spec-tac! Full of flavor!" And without the grease!, my mind chimed in.

"Yeah yeah. But how do they go with the sauce?" We had grabbed a couple of things from the fridge...in true NC style. Nothing fancy, yet oh-so-satisfying. Ideally.

"The sauce? I could drink it."

"OK then. It's a post."

photos by Trina and Trobee

Shout out to 'Bratan' from Paris, France for letting us use his magnificent 'Closed World' pic as a background for our top-of-the-post graphic. Check out his other amazing pics here.

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Baked Masala-peno Poppers

• 6 fresh jalapeno peppers
• 4 oz cream cheese (we use whipped because it stirs the best and is half the fat)
• 3/4 cup shredded cheese
• 1 egg
• 1 Tb milk or soy milk or even water
• 3/4 cup dried breadcrumbs or Panko crumbs
• 1/4 cup flour (We use chickpea flour, but other flours will work. Cornmeal rocks too, though it doesn't stick AS well.)
• 1 Tb paprika
• 1 tsp mango powder
• 1 tsp turmeric
• salt

Masala 1:

• 2 ½ tsp cumin seeds
• 2 ½ tsp coriander seeds
• ¼ tsp ajwain seeds
• 1 tsp asafetida

Masala 2 for the breadcrumbs:

• 1 Tb paprika
• 1 tsp mango powder
• 1 tsp turmeric
• salt

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  Get out three small bowls.

1. Dry roast the Masala until the cumin seeds have darkened a few shades. Whizz into a powder with your coffee grinder and then empty it in a bowl and mix with the paprika and mango powder. Set aside.
2. In a small bowl, beat the egg and the milk together until mixed well. Set aside.
3. In another small bowl, combine the flour and half of the Masala (about 5 tsp). Mix well and set aside. Add the remaining Masala to a bowl with the cream cheese and shredded cheese. Mix well and set aside.
4. In another bowl combine the breadcrumbs with Masala 2 and set aside.
5. Now put on a pair of gloves and slice each jalapeno pepper in half lengthwise. With a small spoon, deseed each half and remove the membrane. Then cut off the stem. Take the cream cheese mixture and spread about 1 TB into each jalapeno half, filling it so that it overflows just a little bit.
6. One at a time, place the jalapeno side-down in a small bowl of water, just to get the bottom wet. Follow this by dredging it in the flour bowl, coating it completely. Now dunk it in the egg-milk mixture, then coat it with the breadcrumbs. Place it on a cookie sheet covered with tin foil. Repeat with the remaining jalapenos.
7. Bake for 20 minutes or until the cheese filling starts to run out and they are golden. Done.

Ranch Salsa Dipping Sauce

1/2 cup salsa
1/4 cup ranch dressing (we use 'low fat')
1/2 tsp tamarind concentrate
1 tsp honey
2 tsp paprika or cayenne

Mix n' chill in the fridge until chow time. Done.