Category Archives: Piper Rose

Can’t argue with the logic

P: “I had a dream about a Penny Fairy. You leave a penny under your pillow, and she replaces it with … a quarter!”

Kate: “Wait, wouldn’t you call her the Quarter Fairy, then?”

P: “Well, no. If we did that, we’d have to call the Tooth Fairy the Prize Fairy, instead.”

Kate: “… you know,  that’s an excellent point.”

Masterful use of the passive voice

As I walked up to the bus stop this afternoon, I noticed that P was wearing her coat, yes, and snow pants, and hat and mittens … but not something else she left the house with this morning.

“Oh, Abba,” she said brightly as I approached. “My backpack was left at school.”

“Was left at.” I can’t tell if it’s my inner copy editor, my outer parent–or realistically, both of them in chorus–that had me put my head in my hands and groan.

“You’re not. That’s okay!”

On the way to the bus stop yesterday:

P: “Abba, why are the days getting shorter?”
A: “Well, Piper, let’s talk about this tonight. I’ve got a great idea to explain this, using our globe and a flashlight.”
P: “Okay! That sounds great!”

[The school day passes. Dinner, teeth brushing, jams on. Kate is reading to Syd in the next room; I have assembled our globe, a flashlight, a piece of string, a measuring tape, and a bright light source on a stand.]

P: “Yes!” (fist pumps)
A: “Well, let’s start out with the globe … you see how it’s tilted … and it goes around the sun … and here’s the shadow of the … darn, the light’s slipped … okay, can you put your finger on the spot where … wait, find Madison on the globe … put a piece of tape there … now turn the globe … wait, I’ve got to change the light … maybe we should start by looking at the globe from the top … ”

[15 minutes of basically pure HERP DERP fumbling from me, later]

A: (long pause)
A: “You know what, Piper? I might try this again another time. I don’t feel like I’m doing a very good job explaining this.”
P: “You’re not. That’s okay. … Do we still have time to read a chapter in The Doll People?”
A: “Absolutely.”


Let’s work on the “barter” concept, shall we

«Syd comes galumphing into the room clutching a just-found box of candles in her hand»

Piper, to Syd: “Oh, Syd, I want those candles!”

Me, to Piper: “So what do you do when you want something that Syd’s got?”

Piper, very nearly rolling her eyes: “I … Trade … Her … Something.”

Me: “Yup!”

«Piper looks around, seizes the first portable thing she can grab without moving»

 Piper, to Syd: “Here, Syd, have some stinky pants.”

«Piper snakes the candles out of Syd’s grasp and flits away. Syd cheerfully galumphs after her, clutching the ‘stinky pants’ but clearly intending to get her candles back.»


Intriguing hypothesis!

Me, to Piper: “So, Piper, I saw a video today that I’ll show you later. Remember the man on the International Space Station who made a peanut butter and jelly tortilla?  And it was floating around?”

Piper: “Yes!”

Me: “Well, some students asked him what would happen if he got a washcloth really wet and then squeezed it out. So he did it, up on the space station. What do you think happened to the water?”

Piper: “It … turned into wine!”

Me: “That’s an interesting idea!”