Nicknames for which our daughter may legitimately disown us, later

  * Squally Squallersdottir, the Icelandic pop star
  * Scrofulus McZitface, the molting and acne-prone Irish baby
  * Princess Mixed Messages, the inconsistent cryer
  * Madame Squashedface, the faceplanting napper

She wants the truth? She can’t handle the truth.