Don't mix a big jug of chlorine bleach and ammonia
Don't burn the neighborhood down or your parents'll disown'ya
Don't call yourself the brand new Messiah
You'll only get called a saddened pariah who lied
(and got crucified)
chorus: You've got to be careful
You've got to be careful in this life
Don't tell your friend the actor who played Kaiser Sose
Don't embezzle and get featured on a Fox News expose
Don't paint your house with just watercolors
Don't eat a diet entirely of crullers; you'll get fat
(and no-one would like that)
chorus
bridge: Ride your bike; run, and dance and sing
Go out without wearing a thing
Eat and drink your wine;
Everything will be fine if you
Don't go off and date your best friend's kid sister
Don't rub salt inside your nice fresh red blister
Don't ponder the world and how fast it's shrinking
Don't dwell on death; it's simply too goddam much thinking
(you're better off drinking)
chorus