I've figured it out.

Woodward and Bernstein have promised not to reveal the identity of their Watergate informant, “Deep Throat,” until he or she dies. Part of the deal was that Woodward and Bernstein would pen the obituary, revealing the identity of the person as well as more of the story than has been previously revealed.

Per W & B, Deep Throat is ailing badly enough that the obit’s been written, leading to wild speculation about who it is. Rehnquist? HRH? Terry Schiavo?

But me, I’ve figured it out. I know who Deep Throat is, and it’s obvious once you think about it.

He’s Pope John Paul II.