The mounds of snow that NYC got over the last month are melting down: first into icy slabs, and then into the crushed water bottles and dog turds hiding, like beans in the King Cake, since the last blizzard. While we didn’t get nearly as much snow as those further north (hello, CT!), the shape of the curb is still a little surprising to see. Our new blue car is so spattered with salt and road dust that it’s hard to see out of the driver’s window.
It’s just shy of 8 a.m., and our apartment is uncharacteristically quiet. Kate was supposed to be working today, but felt so wretched overnight that she called out (at 0530, I believe) and is sawing wood in the next room. Piper, just a day over the same illness, is having one of her rare lie-ins as well.
I’m in a liminal state, and it’s not entirely comfortable.
My job and I parted company in early January. Keeping the lessons of Dooce and the constantly-circling search engines in mind, I’ll simply refer to the exact nature of the parting as “firm, but amicable.” Journalism is in a state of flux just now, as you may have heard; unlike my years working as a sysadmin, my next job was not breathlessly waiting in the wings. That’s been a little depressing, despite my knowing the reasons for it.
When I applied to journalism schools back in 2006, Kate had told me that of the cities on my list, New York was the least interesting to her in which to live, but that she’d accompany me to wherever the school search led. Coming up on four years later, we’re both feeling like we’re about Done With New York City… so I haven’t been pounding on the doors of media outlets here in town. Instead, Kate and I are looking at options in other cities. Should they come to fruition, we wouldn’t move until our lease runs out… and so even if another full-time journalism job surfaced here in town right now, I’m not sure I’d take it. I know there will be another stretch of 9-5 career in my life, but having nothing definite on the horizon contributes to feeling rootless. It’s a little like watching the status board in an airport, waiting for a long-delayed flight to arrive. Once it comes, I know there’ll be a flurry of activity and motion, but until then…
Piper’s growing and talking and picking out letters: on the subways, on my t-shirts, from her floating letters in the bath. Every day she calls out more and more of the details around her. She’s a funny, easy kid, and we’re having an absolute ball with her. One of the big upsides to not working evenings any more has been getting to see the arc of her days that much more clearly. She’s in a phase where she wants to hear the same books and stories again and again; after a week of reading the same books (this week: “On Noah’s Ark,” “Everywhere Babies”) three and four (hundred) times a day, we’ve taken to “losing” particular books for a while, just to provide an opportunity for something fresher to take hold.
My brother’s in a bit of a rough spot, and my only connection to him is via paper mail. The last serious paper correspondence I had was probably 20 years ago (Hi, Nicole!), and that was all longhand and doodles. This time I’m cheating a little and printing out typed letters.
My stepfather’s cancer numbers have ticked up again, though with the sheer number of cancers and treatments he’s had over the last decade, it’s gotten much easier to remain in a wait-and-see mode with it. The first time you hear “cancer,” it really sounds like “CANCER!"; by the six or seventh time you find out someone’s own cells have gone rogue and are trying to slowly take over the world, it sounds like something you can talk about briefly over lunch and then ignore it while you go do something else.
Recipes made recently:
* [Rosemary-Olive-Oil Cake](http://www.101cookbooks.com/archives/rosemary-olive-oil-cake-recipe.html) * [Leek-Potato Dill-Oil soup](http://www.101cookbooks.com/archives/leek-soup-with-dill-oil-recipe.html) * [Whole Wheat Chocolate Chip cookies](http://orangette.blogspot.com/2010/11/i-am-sold.html) * for watching the Super Bowl, with a partial-orlop contingent in Connecticut: [Pierce St. Vegetarian Chili](http://www.101cookbooks.com/archives/pierce-street-vegetarian-chili-recipe.html)
I’ve fallen out of the habit of writing daily, and will be taking it up again, whether here or privately. It’s funny, the things I now feel like I can’t mention on my own private/public journal, thanks to technology and the increased attention it brings.