How To Be Annoying......

     Some people must lead empty lives.  One of my friends sends these to 
     me and I share in the pathology and pass it on down the line....
     


______________________________ Forward Header __________________________________
Subject: How To Be Annoying...... 
Author:  "T.J. Whelan" <JURYNAG@fnapurm.pbz> at INTERNET
Date:    11/13/96 06:32 PM


     
>
>HOW TO BE ANNOYING 

>Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist 
>to others that you "like it that way".

>Drum on every available surface.

>Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

>Staple papers in the middle of the page. 

>Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks. 

>Hide dairy products in inaccessible places. 

>Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". 

>Set alarms for random times.

>Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off. 

>Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon. 

>Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise. 

>Honk and wave to strangers.

>Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental 
>movies.

>Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their 
>complementary
>mints by the cash register.

>Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!" 

>Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's 
>Metal Machine Music.

>Leave someones printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode. 

>Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. 
>
>Pay for your dinner with pennies.

>Tie jingle bells to all your clothes. 

>Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's 
>roadmaps.

>Light road flares on a birthday cake. 

>Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley. 

>Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

>Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador". 

>Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 

>At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. 

>Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One". 

>Finish the 99 bottles of beer song. 

>Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 

>Drive half a block.

>Name your dog "Dog".

>Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. 

>Ask people what gender they are.

>Cultivate a Norwegian accent.  If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl. 

>Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a 
>real
>hoot" .

>Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that 
>you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

>Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch 
>with a can of Lysol.

>While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet. 

>Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. 

>Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 

>Change your name to Jane Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first 
>in the phone book.  Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people 
>pronounce each A.

>Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if 
>they slow down.

>Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

>Sing along at the opera.

>Mow your lawn with scissors.

>Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy". 

>Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't 
>cricket."

>Stare at static on the tv and claim you can see a "magic picture". 

>Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times. 

>Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims. 
>
>
>-- 
>Over and Out
>
>http://RocketPop.com
>
>Seth
>
>