"Barbie the Elbows Daemon sez: being a daemon is hard."

Salsman alert!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 20:25:03 -0800 (PST)
From: fhfcrpgf-y-bjare@argpbz.pbz
To: Gur-Hfhny-Fhfcrpgf@argpbz.pbz
Subject: SUSPECTS: Hacker Barbie

From: Aaron Lung <nyhat@pvfpb.pbz>

MATTEL ANNOUNCES the latest in their new line of Barbie products, the "Hacker 
Barbie."  These new dolls will be released next month. The aim of these dolls 
is to negate the stereotype that women are numerophobic, computer-illiterate, 
and academically challenged. 
 
This new line of Barbie dolls comes equipped with Barbie's very own X-terminal 
and UNIX documentation as well as ORA's "In a Nutshell" series.  The Barbie 
clothing includes a dirty button-up shirt and a pair of well-worn jeans. 
Accessories include a Casio all-purpose watch, and glasses with lenses thick 
enough to set ants on fire. (Pocket protectors and HP calculators optional.) 
 
The new Barbie has the incredible ability to stare at the screen without 
blinking her eyes and to go without eating or drinking for 16 hours straight. 
Her vocabulary mainly consists of technical terms such as "What's your 
Internet address?", "I like TCP/IP!", "Bummer! Your kernel must have gotten 
trashed," "Can't you grep that file?", and "DEC's Alpha AXP is awesome!" 

"We are very excited about this product," said Ken Olsen, Marketing 
Executive, "and we hope that the Hacker Barbie will offset the damage 
incurred by the mathophobic Barbie." (A year ago, Mattel released Barbie 
dolls that say, "Math is hard," with a condescending companion Ken.) The 
Hacker Barbie's Ken is an incompetent management consultant who frequently 
asks Barbie for help. 
 
The leading feminists are equally excited about this new line of Barbie 
dolls. Naomi Falodji says, "I believe that these new dolls will finally 
terminate the notion that womyn are inherently inferior when it comes to 
mathematics and the sciences. However, I feel that Ken's hierarchical 
superiority would simply reinforce the patriarchy and oppress the masses." 
Mattel made no comment. 

Parents, however, are worried that they will fall behind the children 
technologically when the Hacker Barbie comes out. "My daughter Jenny plays 
with the prototype Hacker Barbie for two days," says Mrs. Mary Carlson of 
rural Oxford, Mississippi, "and now she pays my credit card bill online. Got 
no idea how she does it, but she surely does it. I just don't wanna be 
looked upon as some dumb mama." Mattel will be offering free training 
courses for those who purchase the Hacker Barbie. 
 
The future Hacker Barbie will include several variations to deal with the 
complex aspects of Barbie. "Hacker Barbie Goes to Jail" will teach computer 
ethics to youngsters, while "BARBIE RITES L1KE BIFF!!!" will serve as an 
introduction to expository writing.

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