Speaking of astronomy...

Got this from another mailing list, and it seemed appropriate, given 
recent threads...

					legion
					special delivery

"lclittle" <ypyvggyr@pnpq.ebpxjryy.pbz>
          Since we are largely science and fact based (tongue in
          cheek), I thought you'd enjoy the following that came in
          over the HumorNet


          Opener (above) Copyright 1997 by Vincent Sabio
          Permission is hereby granted to forward or post this
          "Collage"; please observe the guidelines stated at the end
          of the message.
          ____________________________________________________________
          ________

          SUBJ: Asteroid Science According to NBC

          Here are the fundamental principles of asteroid science, as
          I learned on NBC tonight:

          * Asteroids travel through space making a noise like a
          powerful but subdued engine.

          * Asteroids are usually locked into orbits, but if a comet
          comes by, they can be bumped out of their rut and become
          dangerously unstable.

          * It's only the fact that everything is locked into an orbit
          which prevents collisions in our solar system. Any asteroid
          that gets loose is certain to crash into Earth within a
          matter of hours.

          * It's just barely possible to evacuate Kansas City to a
          distance of 100 miles in 48 hours. This requires lots of
          airplanes. It also requires martial law, so that "looters
          will be arrested on sight". (Have they no mercy?) With 30+
          hours to go, people will panic in the streets and run around
          at random.

          * A mile-wide asteroid can mostly burn up in the atmosphere,
          causing it to do only a relatively small amount of damage
          (bursting a dam) when it strikes.

          * A river from a burst dam can exactly keep pace with a
          pickup truck for several minutes. It will then obligingly
          pause as the pickup truck turns around and goes in another
          direction.

          * When a raging river washes over a pickup truck on a
          bridge, the bridge won't be damaged, the truck won't be
          swept off the bridge, and people in the open back of the
          truck won't be swept away.

          * A four-mile-wide nickel asteroid (which would mass about a
          *trillion* tons) can be destroyed -- literally destroyed, so
          that nothing remains -- by three airplane-mounted lasers.

          * But with only two airplane-mounted lasers, it instead
          instantly explodes into thousands of pieces. Astronomers are
          very surprised that it wasn't literally destroyed.

          * Laser beams are easily visible in space.

          * Incoming asteroids spend several minutes in Earth's
          atmosphere.

          * Asteroids made of softer or more volatile stuff than
          nickel will harmlessly burn up in the atmosphere regardless
          of size.

          * Asteroids that land in the ocean will do no damage
          regardless of size.

          * Asteroids are discovered by astronomers peering directly
          through their telescopes in brightly lit observatories.
          Whatever they see will appear on computer monitors, however.

          * Asteroid positions are reported in plainly audible 75 BPS
          Baudot teletype signals.

          * Oddly, there will be no dog to be rescued at the last
          possible moment. Maybe only tornadoes and volcanoes come
          equipped with dogs. Would you settle for goldfish?