What If Microsoft Built Cars

     Subject: What if Microsoft built cars?
     
     
     Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a 
     new car.  
     
     Occasionally your car would just die on the motorway for no reason, 
     and you'd have to restart it.  For some strange reason, you'd just 
     accept this, restart and drive on.  Occasionally, executing a maneuver 
     would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to 
     re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this 
     too.  
     
     Whenever you bought a car, you would have to reorganize the ignition 
     for a few days before it worked. 
     
     You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought 
     a "Car 95" or a "Car NT". But then you'd have to buy more seats. 
     
     Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as
     reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive - but it would 
     only run on five percent of the roads.  The Macintosh car owners would 
     get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars which would make their 
     cars go much slower.  The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning 
     lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning 
     light. 
     
     People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, 
     forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for 
     many years.  We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas and all auto
     fluids but the packaging would be superb.  New seats would force 
     everyone to have the same size butt.  The airbag system would say "Are 
     you sure?" before going off. If you were involved in a crash, you 
     would have no idea what happened.  
     
     They wouldn't build their own engines, but form a cartel with their 
     engine suppliers. The latest engine would have 16 cylinders, 
     multi-point fuel injection and 4 turbos, but it would be a side-valve 
     design so you could use Model-T Ford parts on it. There would be an 
     "Engium Pro" with bigger turbos, but it would be slower on most 
     existing roads. 
     
     Microsoft cars would have a special radio/cassette player which would 
     only be able to listen to Microsoft FM,and play Microsoft Cassettes. 
     Unless of course, you buy the upgrade to use existing stuff.  
     
     Microsoft would do so well, because even though they don't own any 
     roads, all of the road manufacturers would give away Microsoft cars 
     free, including IBM! If you still ran old versions of car (ie. CarDOS 
     6.22 / CarWIN 3.11), then you would be called old fashioned, but you 
     would be able to drive much faster, and on more roads! 
     
     If you couldn't afford to buy a new car, then you could just borrow 
     your friends, and then copy it. 

----------  Forwarding history  ----------
Author: Deborah Lack at MHIC
TO: nqnz@ncbpnylcfr.bet at Internet
TO: xvzonyyw@argfpbhg.pbz (Joyce) at Internet
TO: xfryyvat@rntyr.jrfyrlna.rqh at Internet
TO: qhfp@Mvcyvax.arg (DOn CArnevale) at Internet
TO: snypbaz@gbjref.pbz at Internet
TO: GQvpxrafba@pbzchfreir.pbz at Internet
TO: wbfu@rcvybthr.pbz at Internet
Date: Tue 04/29/97  9:52a
Subject: What If Microsoft Built Cars
----------  Forwarded  ----------
Author: Joe Flatley at MHIC
Date: Mon 04/28/97 12:54p
Subject: What If Microsoft Built Cars