i like dis

		    WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO TODAY?
				by Don Crabb (aka Crusty)

According to Crusty's friend Gary Hawkey, the answer to the above
question is simple, "Straight to hell, apparently."

It seems that Mr. Hawkey was transfixed before his Home Entertainment
Video Module (aka TV) the other day, watching a scintillating
Microsoft commercial.

As he notes to The Crustacular One, the commercial began with "sublime
choral music drift[ing] through the background as the unseen
[computer] user surfs through the Internet and various Microsoft
content using Internet Explorer." Aaah, virtual bliss!

Sounds tame and even cool, so far. But wait, as Crusty has learned,
there was more.

"The commercial closes with the Microsoft slogan 'Where do you want to
go today?' and a final, furious blast of music. It's a very cool
effect. But if you dig a little deeper...", your Carapacious
Reporter's Microsoft Commercial Observer notes: "As it turns out, the
background music is the 'Dies Irae' of Mozart's 'Requiem Mass.' And
the words of the final blast of music which accompanies 'Where do you
want to go today?' are actually 'confutatis maledictis, flammis
acribus addictis...'

For those of us not up on our Latin, or who can't find our Wheelock
Latin dictionaries, Mr. Hawkey supplies the English transation:

" 'When the damned are confounded, and consigned to sharp flames...';
which describes exactly where I want to go today," he notes, treble
clef firmly in cheek!

Finally, though, Mr. Hawkey sums it up by noting that "Unfortunately,
while [Internet] Explorer will take you to hell for free, the upgrade
to purgatory is pretty steep."

The preceding message has been brought to you as a public service by
The Argumentative Arthropod in his continuing efforts to byte the claw
that feeds him.