rubber chickens

So I get this call today from someone from the dead organization
calling me to ask if I wanted tickets for the next Dick's pick release party,
it was kinda weird, out of the blue. So I do a search for the phone number
"888-THE-DEAD" on NL. To see if they are for real or some scam. Not much help
but bext of humor were two out of the five finds so I take
a look. As I am scanning the page the term "rubber chicken" streams by.

[ont.personal.whips.and.rubber.chickens] Re: *** HOT XXX Adult
Products & Videos -- Free Catalog ***

Karl Nikolai Zaryski (yhcva3@vb.bet)
23 Aug 1995 16:18:12 GMT 

     Messages sorted by: [ date ][ thread ][ subject ][ author ] 
     Next message: Louis A Alten: "[comp.sys.mac.apps] Re: Word 7 beta?" 
     Previous message: ArvyUnzzne@NBY.PBZ: "[rec.martial.arts] Christian Martial Arts" 

[Moderator Note: Yes, this group really _does_ exist...]

From: Stephen Kunc <fpx@pncvgnyarg.pbz>
Subject: Re: *** HOT XXX Adult Products & Videos -- Free Catalog ***
Newsgroup: ont.personals.whips.and.rubber.chickens

Stephen Kunc <fpx@pncvgnyarg.pbz> wrote:
oelnas@oebamr.vagreybt.pbz (Bryan Fullerton) wrote:
>Carmen Deturse <pqrghefr@vqverpg.pbz> wrote:
>
Complete catalog of seXXXy products, marital aids,
lingerie, outrageous adult gifts, and videos at
unbeatable prices.
>
>You have RCs? I assume you must, 'cause you posted to OPWARC.
>
>Anyone have experience buying RCs from this company?

I have vast amounts of experience buying from this company, under the
pseudonym Nikolaus Maack. 

I bought their Thumper IV model Penis Expander, and my first complaint is
that it did not come in the plain brown wrapper that they promised.
Instead it arrived in a box lavishly adorned with advertisements for cock
rings. Later on, I bought their StretchMan "Charles Atlas" model Penis
Expander, but I was deeply disatisfied with its performance, the gyroscope
always needs to be replaced, and the mazola emits a foul burning smell
when you have the Stretchman on the "puree" setting. 

I also bought this company's "Little Suzie" blow-up doll, which promised
"full life-like lips" and genuine recordings for audio stimulation. The
full life-like lips are in fact, prunes, and the audio recordings are
surplussed Teddy Ruxpin stories. 

Giving this company the benefit of the doubt, I subsequently bought their
"Edible Condom" (which broke), their "Mistress Eva stretch pants" (which rode
up) and their "C++ compiler" (which did not link properly with ansi.lib).

I hope this gives you some idea of the company you are dealing with, and
if you plan on buying a rubber chicken from them, expect it to be made of
the cheapest synthetics, not speak properly, and arrive at your neighbour's
house in gift-wrapped covered with advertisements for "Hot Lips"
lubricants. 


-b

Bob Antia                                           nagvn@yrsgonax.pbz
The Left Bank Operation, Inc.                       http://www.leftbank.com
TCP/IP Internetworking                              LAN/WAN/NT/UNIX Admin
PGP fingerprint          9B 70 FF 2D 03 CC 5F C1  3E 29 6E D4 16 79 44 A8