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>From News of the Weird [491] - 4Jul97 (Received Sat Aug 16, 11:11pm):

WELL-PUT

* Patricia Walsh, Carmel, Calif., defending in May her decision to
spend $6,000 to dress up a rock she found to look like Gen.
Douglas McArthur:  "I'm an old lady, and I can amuse myself doing
whatever I like." 

* In April, Sir Roger Penrose, a British math professor who has
worked with Stephen Hawking on such topics as relativity, black
holes, and whether time has a beginning, filed a copyright-
infringement lawsuit against the Kimberly-Clark Corporation, which
Penrose said copied a pattern he created (a pattern demonstrating
that "a nonrepeating pattern could exist in nature") for its Kleenex
quilted toilet paper.  Penrose said he doesn't like litigation but,
"When it comes to the population of Great Britain being invited by
a multinational to wipe their bottoms on what appears to be the
work of a Knight of the Realm, then a last stand must be taken." 

* Philip Morris president James Morgan, in a lawsuit deposition
released in May, pointing out why he believes cigarettes are not
addictive:  "I love Gummi Bears [candy]. . . and I want Gummi
Bears and I like Gummi Bears and I eat Gummi Bears and I don't
like it when I don't eat my Gummi Bears, but I'm certainly not
addicted to them."