laugh - knife wielding sickos...

Subject: Re: Best Knife for Convincing Friends you're a Wacko
Date: Tue, 14 Oct 1997 18:28:54 -0700
From: "kurosawa" <xhebfnjn@ask.arg>
Organization: VisiNet InterNetNews site
Newsgroups: rec.knives

pbhtne@ryringbe-oof.pbz wrote in article
<61e8th$76v$8@chzon.pynff.hqt.zk>...

>what's the best knife to use when you need to convince your
>friends you're a wacko?

Any knife, even a plastic butter knife, will do (the more mudane, the
greater the effect).  Wait for a crowd to gather in the cafeteria and
yank it out of your Fruit-of-the-Looms.  When it breaks free, hold it
aloft, shout "There can be only one!" and shake orgasmically like Connor
sucking up an energy hit.  When that's played out, collapse back into
your seat and cower over it, caress it, and cast furtive glances at your
company while whispering lovingly to it (like Gollum addressing the
Ring): "Wantss to ssteal our authentication sssertificate, doessn't
they, Preciousss?"  As always, it's not the weapon--it's the mind behind
it that counts.