hey! how about some clam jerky?

forwarded from a friend:


    The 8 Worst Convenience Foods
    -----------------------------
    8. Meeter's Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that's sauerkraut juice,
       which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a
       bit, well, harsh, but KJ is reputed by its fans to have certain
       medicinal benefits (as a source of vitamin C, cure for intestinal
       bugs, etc.), which adds up to a classic case of the cure being worse
       than the disease.

    7. Guycan Corned Mutton with Juices Added (Bedessee Imports): The best
       thing about this Uruguayan canned good is the very pouty-looking
       sheep on the package label -- he seems to be saying, "Go on, eat me
       already." The second-best thing is the presence of both "cooked
       mutton" and "mutton" in the ingredients listing, which would seem to
       have all the mutton bases covered.

    6. Armour Pork Brains in Milk Gravy (Dial Corp.): If you're really
       looking to clog up those arteries in a hurry, you'll be pleased to
       learn that a single serving of pork brains has 1,170 percent of our
       recommended daily cholesterol intake. All the more ingenious, then,
       that the label on this product helpfully features a recipe for
brains
       and scrambled eggs.

    5. Sweet Sue Canned Whole Chicken (Sweet Sue Kitchens, Inc.): From its
       size (think growth-impaired Cornish hen) to its overall appearance
       (it's stewed in a quivering mass of aspic goop), this  product may
       change forever your idea of what constitutes a chicken.  Gives new
       meaning to the old line about meat "falling off the  bone."

    4. Musk Life Savers (Nestle Confectionery): You may think  musk is a
       scent, but over in Australia, they think it's a candy flavor. A
candy
       flavor that tastes disturbingly like raw meat, to be precise.  But
       what did you expect from a country where eveyone happily consumes
       Vegemite?

    3. Blind Robins Smoked Ocean Herring (recently discontinued  by Bar
Food
       Products): Possibly the world's most bizarre prepackaged  tavern
       snack.  Interestingly, the product's titular robin isn't
       actually  blind, he's blindfolded -- the better, presumably, to
       avoid looking at these heavily salted herring strips, which look
       like giant slugs.

    2. Kylmaenen Reindeer Pate` (Kylmaenen Oy): This Finnish canned good
may
       not be particulary tasty, but at least it answers the age-old
       question of why Rudolph was so eager for that safe, steady job on
       Santa's sleigh team -- he didn't want to end up a cracker spread.

    1. Tengu Clam Jerky (Tengu Co.): Nothing you've ever consumed can
       prepare you for the horror that is clam jerky. Still, this product
       does score a sort of conceptual coup: If you're the sort who's
always
       found raw clams too slimy and gelatinous for your taste, these
dried,
       shriveled mollusks will help you dislike clams on a whole new level.