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Evolution and Alabama
08/25/1998
>From AIR (Annals of Improbable Research)
1998-08-10 Evolution and Alabama
Last month's Scientific Correctness Survey asked:
Some people, including Alabama Governor Fob James,
claim that Darwin's theory of evolution is dead wrong.
This month's question is: Did human beings evolve from
ape-like creatures?
__Yes __No __Not in Alabama __Other (please specify)
The votes poured in, especially from Alabama. The final result:
59% said yes
03% said No
62% said Not in Alabama
54% said Other, sometimes quite emphatically.
Many respondents cast votes for multiple categories. One
respondent mailed us a photograph of his brother. Several
respondents from Alabama described an "educational ape imitation"
that Governor James once performed in front of the state
legislature. All in all, many things were made clear. Here are
some of them.
Investigator Sherry McDonald:
"Yes...Darwin was right and the governor is in denial."
Investigator Hershl Hartman:
"Where in the Bible does it say that? Certainly not in Gen.
1:27 'A male and female He created them' or in Gen 2:22 'And Yave
Elohim fashioned the rib that he had taken from the man into a
woman.' With such clear evidence before us, how can Darwin
possibly be right?"
Investigator John Wilson:
"Since the question is inspired, if we can use that word, by
a government official, the answer "yes" is close enough for
government work."
Investigator Richard Platel:
"I cannot understand the continuing controversy over this
issue. It is obvious to any rational person that if two groups of
people hold strong, opposing viewpoints, then the truth must lie
precisely between them (this is a well known mathematical
theorem.) Obviously then, dumb animals evolved up to a certain
point, at which time, a divine being created humans."
Investigator Anthony Kinney:
"The correct answer is some human beings (Homo sapiens)
evolved from apes. Fob James and others (Homo amoebo) evolved
directly from unicellular organisms and they are now using that
cell for brains."
Investigator Raymond Craig Thompson:
"No! Human beings were created as was all life on earth.
There has been no proof found supporting the theory of evolution,
but to the contrary all things point towards creation being the
only feasible answer to where life came from."
Oddly named investigator Alan B:
"We still are ape like creatures. Evolution would be a good
idea right now."
--
-b
Bob Antia nagvn@pburfvir.pbz
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