More Fuel

I'm adding this one to my list of stupid spam responses...

					Jer 

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"There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.'"
					- Dave Barry
Jeremy N. Bernstein	       		waoreafgrva@jrfyrlna.rqh 
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>  If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," DELETE IT IMMEDIATELY. 
Do
>  not open it.  Apparently this one is pretty nasty.
>  
>  It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also
>  delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.  It
>  demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.
>  
>  It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR
>  and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to
>  play.
>  
>  It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your
>  ice cream melts and your milk curdles.
>  
>  It will program your phone auto dial to call only your mother-in-law's
>  number.
>  This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
>  It will drink all your beer.
>  It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting
>  company.
>  Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and bellybutton fuzz
>  (be honest, you have some) to migrate behind your ears.
>  
>  It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all
>  the while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and
>  billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
>  
>  It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that
is
>  only fun until someone loses an eye.
>  
>  It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea.
>  It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to
>  passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which
grossly
>  change the interpretations of key sentences.
>  
>  If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows95 environment, it
will
>  leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in
>  dangerously close to a full bathtub.
>  
>  It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and
>  pillows,  but it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.
>  
>  It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam.
>  It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to
>  smell like dill pickles.
>  
>  It is insidious and subtle.  It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
>  It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. These are just a few
>  signs of infection.
>  
>  PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!  (The survival of
>  mankind and human life on earth as we know it is at stake!)