French gaming

From James Lileks' Bleat
  <http://www.lileks.com/bleats/archive/03/0703/072503.html>


The most interesting news of the day is rarely in the A-section; its
buried in the back pages of the Wall Street Journal, where you get a
glimpse into some small aspect of the future that will die or flourish in
months to come. My favorite article today concerned the French computer
game industry, and yes there is such a thing. Turns out that its in the
pissoir for all the usual reasons - the companies cant fire anyone when
business heads sud, the taxes are onerous, and, uh, the games suq. But the
French PM believes that the industry deserves to be subsidized, because
French computer games reflect European values.

Well, yes, if theyre subsidized, bought by no one. It got me to thinking
about French versions of some popular games:

Half-Life. An interdimensional gateway opens up, and thousands of
murderous creatures from another world spill through. Your mission: help
them establish their own parallel society in your country.

Doom: An interdimensional gateway opens up, and the minions of Hell itself
enter a Martian moonbase. Your mission: nothing! Lucky you, they invaded
in August, and thats your month at the beach.

Grand Theft Auto: You steal Deux Cheveaux and attempt to escape from the
police at speeds up to 30 MPH

Medal of Honor: WW2. This was a massively multiplayer online role-playing
game based on the Resistance. At its peak it had 400,000 members who
logged on and did nothing. Then someone named Yank44 signed on, and the
system crashed when all 400,000 members attempted to remove the picture of
Marshal Petain from the wall of their cottage.