Top 15 Potential Problems With Cloning Humans (fwd)

Just in case no one's seen it yet...

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Tue, 25 Feb 1997 14:28:13 -0500
From: Josh Muskovitz <wbfuz@vyvap.pbz>
To: 'Simon's Rock Alumni Reflector' <ebpxref@zrqvft.Fgnasbeq.RQH>
Subject: Top 15 Potential Problems With Cloning Humans

       The Top 15 Potential Problems With Cloning Humans


  15> Harder than ever to land a role in those new Wrigley's
      commercials featuring the Doublemint Octuplets.

  14> Two words: Gilbert Gottfried(s)

  13> Any scientific advancement that stems from the result of
      Scottish people doing strange things to sheep is bound to
      have dire consequences.

  12> In mere weeks, Bill Gates (v1.0, v1.2, v2.0, v3.0, v3.1 & v5.0)
      has all the money on the entire planet.

  11> Hillary's husband discovers true multiple orgasms.

  10> If you think there are too many idiots shouting "Show me the
      money!" on every occasion now, just wait.

   9> Rush Limbaugh takes his self-affection to a whole new level,
      and suddenly is IN FAVOR of same-sex marriages.

   8> "Penn & Penn & Teller & Teller & Teller & Penn & Penn & Teller
      & Penn" much harder to fit on comedy club marquee.

   7> And you think it's hard to find your size now!

   6> 18-month waiting list for George Clooney and Cindy Crawford
      clones.

   5> "Alternative" radio filled with even more Nirvana clones.

   4> And the final score: the New York Gretzkys - 408, the
      Pittsburgh Lemieuxs - 399.

   3> Can no longer count on the Grim Reaper to get Jesse Helms out
      of office.

   2> Those apocalyptic words: "Ladies & Gentlemen: The John Tesh
      Philharmonic Orchestra!"


      and the Number 1 Potential Problem With Cloning Humans...


   1> Seventeen Mark Fuhrmans, and suddenly OJ's defense doesn't
      seem quite as far-fetched.

And remember kids: WORSHIP SATAN!



--Nathan J. Mehl, The Left Bank Operation