Fun in the Sun!

Hello!

The subject: header is of a course a total ruse: the weather in
Madison is currently quite overcast and this message has nothing
whatsoever to do with sun or solar activity of any kind.  Oh well.  
I *am* hoping that someone in a warm part of the country will fly me
out for a site visit sometime soon ... 

The Packer jokes in this mailing (yes, I'm a G.B. Packer fan, what did
you expect from a guy who grew up in Wisconsin?!) come from my dad;
the Drug Dealer/Software Developer comparison comes from Bill and some
other people who forwarded it to me after I got it from Bill; and the
"dirty limerick" (not really dirty, though it *is* about sex) is from
an unnamed internet site that I will not admit to having visited.  OK,
so I was bored this weekend.

Enjoy!

--

			    The Packer Fan

A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau
Field, until he noticed an empty seat down in front.  He went down and
asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was.  The guy said,
"Yes, that's my wife's seat.  We have never missed a game since the
Lombardi days, but now my wife is dead."  The fan offered his sympathy
and said it was really too bad he couldn't find some relative to give
the ticket to and enjoy the game together.  "Oh no," the guy said,
"they're all at the funeral."

--

On the night after the Ice Bowl, Vince Lombardi got into bed with his
wife, Marie.  Marie said "God your feet are cold".  Vince said, "In
bed you may call me Vincent, Dear!"

It is believed that this is a true story.

--

Q: What do you call a Minnesota Viking with a Super Bowl ring?

A: A thief.

--

Q: Why doesn't Iowa have a professional football team?

A: Because Minnesota would want one too.

--

Q: What separates the one good team from the bad teams in the NFC
   Central?

A: The Wisconsin border.

--

A man walked into a bar and sat down for a drink.  He noted a dog
intently watching a Packers - Bears game.  Whenever the Packers
scored, the dog would jump onto the bar and do an animated dance.
This happened over and over as the Packers scored again and again, and
at the end of the game the dog let out a loud howl and ran out of the
bar.

The man thought this was pretty unusual and asked the bartender, "Gee
that's amazing.  What happens when the Bears win?"

The bartender replied "I don't know, the dog's only 4 years old."

--

	  Drug Dealers and Software Developers: coincidence?

---------------------------      ---------------------------
Drug dealers                     Software developers
---------------------------      ---------------------------

Refer to their clients           Refer to their clients
as "users".                      as "users".

"The first one's free!"          "Download a free trial version..."

Have important South-East        Have important South-East
Asian connections                Asian connections
(to help move the stuff).        (to help debug the code).

Strange jargon:                  Strange jargon:
"Stick," "Rock,"                 "SCSI," "RTFM,"
"Dime bag," "E".                 "Java," "C".

Realize that there's             Realize that there's
tons of cash in the              tons of cash in the
14- to 25-year-old               14- to 25-year-old
market.                          market.

Job is assisted by the           Job is assisted by
industry's producing             industry's producing
newer, more potent mixes.        newer, faster machines.

Often seen in the company        Often seen in the company of
of pimps and hustlers.           marketing people and venture
                                 capitalists.

Their product causes             DOOM. Quake. SimCity. Duke Nukem 3D.
unhealthy addictions.            'Nuff said.

Do your job well, and            Damn! Damn! DAMN!!!
you can sleep with
sexy movie stars who
depend on you.

--

A rickety old man in Berlin 
thought all kinds of sex were a sin. 
He was so old when he tried 
that he very near died. 
Not from effort but regret and chagrin. 

--

:-)

Arty-Marty
--
in real life(?!):   Martin Reames
replies to:	    zernzrf@pf.jvfp.rqh
A-M archive:	    http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~mreames/docs/humor/list/

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