Language barrier

Appropos John and Jonathan's recent trek to the China and Hong Kong...
Katy



Subject: Language Barrier

This exchange is between an English-speaking traveler and a member of
the hotel staff in a Far East hotel.  It was recorded in the "Far-East
Economic Review."  To get the full effect, read aloud without
rehearsing.  

Room Service: Morny.  Rune-sore-bees.
Hotel Guest: Oh, sorry. I thought I dialed Room Service.
RS: Rye, rune-sore-bees. Morny. Djewish to odor sunteen?
HG: Uh... yes. I'd like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ow July then?
HG: What?
RS: Aches. Ow July then? Pry, boy, pooch...?

HG: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled please.
RS: Ow July thee baycome? Crease?
HG: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Okay. An Santos?
HG: What?
RS: Santos. July Santos?
HG: Ugh. I don't know... I don't think so.
RS: No.  Judo one toes?
HG: Look, I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what "judo one
toes" means.  I'm sorry.

RS: Toes! Toes!  Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow cenglish mopping we
bother?
HG: English muffin!  I've got it!  You were saying toast! Fine..  An
English muffin will be fine.
RS: We bother?
HG: No.  Just put the bother on the side.
RS: Wad?
HG: I'm sorry.  I meant butter. Butter on the side.

RS: Copy?
HG: I feel terrible about this but...
RS: Copy. Copy, tea, mill...
HG: Coffee!  Yes, coffee please.  And that's all.
RS: One Minnie.  Ass rune torino fee, strangle aches, crease, baycome,
tossy cenglish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy.  Rye?
HG: Whatever you say.
RS: Okay.  Tendjewberrymud.
HG: You're welcome.