troll 1

> Subject:	Conservative-English dictionary
> 
> ACLU
> Bad, because they defend parts of the Bill of Rights
> 
> NRA
> Good, because they defend parts of the Bill of Rights
> 
> Criminal
> Someone who breaks the law, unless the law has anything to do with
> guns, selling arms to Iran, or refusing to pay your taxes. In those
> cases, you are a...
> 
> Victim of society
> Any white male, especially a conservative one, who are suffering now
> more than any other race in all history.
> 
> Leech, Welfare bum/queen
> Any person on the government dole, EXCEPT for corporations receiving
> tax write-offs, ranchers and farmers receiving subsidies, and defense
> contractors.
> 
> Libertarianism
> Survival of the fittest, and if you don't like it, you don't deserve
> to survive
> 
> Liberal
> Anyone who shows human compassion, or reads the New York Times
> 
> Christian
> Anyone who is a member of the Christian Coalition
> 
> Godless Atheist
> Anyone who is not a member of the Christian Coalition
> 
> The Homosexual Agenda
> Gay people exercising their rights to free speech and to petition the
> government for redress of grievances
> 
> Grassroots citizens' movement
> Conservative people exercising their rights to free speech and to
> petition the government for redress of grievances
> 
> Republican Party
> A political party which welcomes all conservatives, as long as they
> are pro-life, pro-gun, and anti everything else.
> 
> Democratic Party
> Communists
> 
> Gays, Feminists, Environmentalists, Immigrants, Blacks
> These didn't exist until they were invented by liberals back in the
> 1960's
> 
> Washington
> The heart of the Evil Empire.
> 
> Bureaucrat
> A Democrat working for the government.
> 
> Public Servant
> A Republican working for the government.
> 
> Rush Limbaugh
> The leading conservative intellectual (do I really need to insert a
> snide comment here?)
> 
> Extremist
> Bill Clinton
> 
> Moderate
> Pat Robertson
> 
> Guns and Ammo magazine
> Pornography for conservatives
> 
> Our Founding Fathers
> The true heroes who persevered and founded a nation conceived in
> liberty, and who also share identical beliefs with Rush Limbaugh.
> 
> Religion
> What should be taught at public schools instead of science
> 
> Evolution
> A kooky cult started by Charles Darwin
> 
> Jesus Christ
> An conservative Republican leader to whom some erroneously attribute
> the phrases "love thy neighbor" and "turn the other cheek" to.
> 
> Ronald Reagan
> The greatest President ever.
> 
> Abraham Lincoln
> Was a Republican when the party began 140 years ago, so he can be
> forgiven for freeing the slaves and suppressing states' rights.
> 
> States rights
> The right for individual states to pass conservative laws without
> interference from Washington. Note: does not apply if states pass
> liberal laws.
> 
> Judicial activism
> What liberal judges do.
> 
> Sound jurisprudence
> What conservative judges do
> 
> Pro-lifer
> One who is willing to kill to preserve life.
> 
> Traditional Values
> The classic values and morals that made America great, such as
> lynching blacks, beating up gays, and keeping the "little woman"
> barefoot and pregnant.
> 
> Pro-family politician
> Any thrice-divorced Republican congressman late on child-support
> payments who is against gay marriage
> 
> Criminals Rights
> Should be ignored unless said criminal is a member of wacko religious
> cult or is firearms dealer.
> 
> Liberal (2)
> A conservative who has been arrested
> 
> Liberal media
> Anything to the left of the American Spectator, G. Gordon Liddy, or
> Rush Limbaugh
> 
> Public Broadcasting
> Rush Limbaugh (historical note: Newt Gingrich actually said this!)
> 
> Family Values
> A mother and father who vote Republican raising two kids who attend a
> private school in the suburbs and attend a conservative church.
> 
> Subversive elements in society
> Bookstores, coffeehouses, art galleries, and anything inside the city
> limits of a major American city.
> 
> RKBA
> The Right to Kill and Bomb Americans
> 
> Special Rights
> Constitutional rights for minorities you don't like.
> 
> Islamic Fundamentalism
> The greatest threat to the Integrity of our Beloved Nation.(Fact:
> Limbaugh has said this on many an occasion)
> 
> Christian Fundamentalism
> The greatest hope for the Integrity of our Beloved Nation.
> 
> Religion
> Conservative Biblical literalism.
> 
> Cult
> An institution that is not a RELIGION (see above).
> 
> Scholarship
> Any work such as The Bell Curve, The American Spectator, or The
> Limbaugh Letter.
> 
> Liberal Ideology
> Anything espoused in the work of Stephen Jay Gould, Noam Chomsky, or
> The Nation.
> 
> Big Government
> Federal social programs that attempt to construct a more rational,
> fair society.
> 
> Proper Government
> Billions upon billons of tax dollars wastefully spent on inefficient
> and otherwise prohibitively costly defense contracts, subsidies and
> tax breaks for corporations, and "The War on Drugs."
>