Microsoft Dinner Instructions

Microsoft TV Dinner Installation Instructions

You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so
you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to
all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite
of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement
of Microsoft's rights). You may, however, let others
smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to
tell them how good it is.

If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner
into the oven. Set the oven using these keystrokes:
\mstv.dinn.//08.5min@@50%heat// Then
enter:ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme.

If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start.
The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.

If you have a Unix oven, insert the dinner, enter the
ingredients of the dinner (found on the package label),
the weight of the dinner, and the desired level of cooking
and press start. The oven will calculate the time and
heat and cook the dinner exactly to your specification.

Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in
which case your oven must be restarted. This is a
simple procedure. Remove the dinner from the oven
and enter ms.no.&*%*.good/tryagain\again/again.&*%*.
This process may have to be repeated. Try unplugging
the microwave and then doing a coldreboot. If this
doesn't work, contact your hardware vendor.

Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far
too big, larger than the dinner itself, having many
useless compartments, most of which are empty. These
are for future menu items. If the tray is too large
to fit in your oven you will need to upgrade your
equipment.

Dinners are only available from registered outlets,
and only the chicken variety is currently produced.
If you want another variety, call Microsoft Help and
they will explain that you really don't want another
variety. Microsoft Chicken is all you really need.

Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all
smaller versions of their chicken dinners. Future
releases will only be in the larger family size.
Excess chicken may be stored for future use, but
must be saved only in Microsoft approved packaging.

Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner
after '98. However, that version has yet to be
released. Users have permission to get thrilled in
advance.

Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other
dinners in the freezer,causing your freezer to
self-defrost. This is a feature, not a bug.
Your freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway.

                -From the Internet
                 (Beverly Ervin on a Yr2000 Listserv)