joe-bob sums it up

[From Joe-Bob Goes to the Drive In]

OK,  that's  enough  babies.  Put a lid on it. We've repopulated.
"We've got the little creatures swarmin all over the jungle  gyms
like  amphibious  sea monkeys. We've got Papoose Women bringin em
into McDonald's and frightening  the  Guatemalan  checkout  boys.
We've  got  stray  bunny-rabbit shoes cluttering up the aisles of
airplanes. We've got breast-feeding in RESTAURANTS. El yucko.

Yall didn't have anything to do during the  recession,  did  you?
But you could have thought of something better than THIS. You can
get FREE CONDOMS at the clinic, for God's sake.

I don't know, but I think it's some kind  of  elaborate  deal  to
screw  up my life. A couple of weeks ago I was on an airplane and
a lady had me WATCH HER BABY-I mean, actually  TOUCH  the  little
booger-while  she was in the back scoring some Baby Supplies from
the stewardess.

Also, if everbody is so goldang HAPPY to be having  these  little
bundles  of  satanic energy, then why don't they LOOK happy? It's
not like you see Baby Couples dancing in the aisles at  Chuck  E.
Cheese.  Check  those  Parent Faces: Mount Rushmore City. This is
NOT a happy emotional state.

So what is it all about? Really. Tell me. Please.  Maybe  we  can
herd some of you people into therapy before it's too late. Do you
get tired of renting videos? Is that it? So one  night  you  just
say,  "You know what, honey? I was thinking that, if we had a BA-
BY, we wouldn't even have TIME to watch videos."

Is it a Boredom Thing?

Is it an Immortality Thing?

After all, if you just wanna LOOK AT ONE or PLAY  WITH  ONE,  you
can always go next door. There are even people who are going over
to Korea, roundin up rug rats, and BRINGING EM  BACK  ACROSS  THE
OCEAN.  I  don't  think  Korea can pay us enough money to correct
this imbalance of trade.

And all of you complain about "Barney." Don't  you  realize?  You
CREATED  "Barney." And all of you go to "The Flintstones" and you
come out saying "Oh, well, not as good as I thought it would  be,
was it?" Well, you CREATED the goldurn "Flintstones."

As  long as you women keep domino-ing like crazy, the studios are
gonna be turnin out bland generic by-the-numbers  Crapola  Comedy
for  the  whole  fambly.  Listen to me. You can stop now. We have
QUITE A FEW. Enough to run the railroads, you know what  I  mean?
Take up country line dancin or something, all right?

















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It's the little touches that make a future solid enough to be destroyed.
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