(Fwd) Ineffective Daily Affirmations (fwd)

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For those people who believe in a daily spiritual discipline...

- As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner
Sociopath.

- I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of
suspicion and paranoia.

- I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are
someone else's fault.

- I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of
course, I want to stay employed.

- In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

- Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over
others.

- My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.

- I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no
personality at all.

- Joan of Arc heard voices too.

- I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious,
self-righteous people around me.

- I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and
complain.

- As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward
me in many ways to keep me quiet.

- When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit. But not
nearly as gratifying.

- The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do
nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice
things.

- As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.

- All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly, stupid, and
disgusting parts.

- I am at one with my duality.

- Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.

- I will strive to live each day as if it were my 40th birthday.

- Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with
imaginary fears.

- I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and
local laws.

- Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no
sweeter words than "I told you so."

- False hope is nicer than no hope at all.

- A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.

- Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV.
Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.

- Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute...I'll find
someone.

- Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it
worrying about the future?

- The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy
is working.

- I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.

- Becoming aware of my character defects leads me to the next step --
blaming my parents.

- To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it look like
I'm giving as much as I'm getting.

- I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn
from them.

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes.
That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.


------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bob Bruhin O-                                           oehuvao@sbex.bet
                     http://www.fork.org/~bruhinb/
 
          I went to a general store.  They wouldn't let me buy
          anything specifically.         -- Steven Wright