Do you drink to much coffee? (fwd)

>You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When...
>
>You answer the door before people knock.
>Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
>You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
>You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
>You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
>You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
>You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
>You lick your coffeepot clean.
>You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
>You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and
> you don't even work there.
>Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
>You chew on other people's fingernails.
>The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse
>You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their milk shakes.
>You can type sixty words per minute... with your feet.
>You can jump-start your car without cables.
>All your kids are named "Joe".
>Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
>You don't sweat, you percolate.
>You buy half-and-half by the barrel.
>You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
>You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
>You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
>People get dizzy just watching you.
>Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
>Instant coffee takes too long.
>When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
>You want to be cremated just so your body can spend the rest of
> eternity in a coffee can.
>Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
>You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
>You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
>You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
>Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
>You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
>You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
>You short out motion detectors.
>You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
>Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
>You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
>You don't tan, you roast.
>Your three favorite things in life are...coffee before, coffee during
> and coffee after meals.
>You can't even remember your second cup.
>You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
>Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
>You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
>You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation." Your first-aid
> kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
>Your thermos has wheels on it