Great moments in sports history and theory

Brilliance in the Wide World of Sports
 
 "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." Senior
 basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh
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 "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like
 Norman Einstein."
 Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996
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 "You guys line up alphabetically by height."  "You guys pair up in
 groups of three, then line up in a circle."  Bill Peterson, a Florida
 State football coach
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 Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because
 of  academic requirements: "I play football. I'm not trying to be a
 professor.  The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your
 brain on stuff I  haven't been through in school."
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 Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter
 Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter?  He went to
 prison for three years, not Princeton."
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 Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a
 color  photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how
 to spell my name, I  can still find my clothes."
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 Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his
 visit  to Greece: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that
 we went to."
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 Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships: "I've won at every
 level, except college and pro."
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 Lou Duva, Veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of
 heavyweight Andrewm Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in
 the morning regardless of what time it is."
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 1992- Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27
 record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general
 manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."
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 1982 - Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player,
explaining
 to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's
 expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an
 aunt."
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 1981 - Tommy Lasorda , Dodger manager, when asked what terms
 Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in
 his upcoming contract negotiations: "He wants Texas back."
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 1966 - Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked if the abnormal
number
 of Longhorn injuries that season resulted from poor physical
 conditioning: "One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do
you
 go about getting a nose in condition for football?"
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 1981 - Mike McCormack, coach of the hapless Baltimore Colts after the
 team's co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled a hamstring
 running onto the field for the coin toss against St. Louis:   "I'm
going
 to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time."
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 1991 -Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a
 fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books:  "But the real
 tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."
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 1986 - Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss what
 he thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy
 officiating."
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 1991 - Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as
 opposed to Sunday afternoons: "It's basically the same, just darker."
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 1996 - Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to
 vote: "I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot."
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 1991 - Jim Colletto, Purdue football coach and former assistant at
 Arizona State and Ohio State, on his 11-year-old son's reaction after
he
 took the job with the boilermakers:  "He said: 'Gosh, Dad, that mean's
 we're not going to any more bowl games."
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 1986 - LaVell Edwards, BYU football coach and one of 14 children: "They
 can't fire me because my family buys too many tickets."
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 1991 - Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told
 him, 'Son, what is it with you?  Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said,
 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care."
      ****************************
 1991 - Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
 Jenkins:  "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
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 1987 - Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what
he
 told a player who received four F's and one D:  "Son, looks to me like
 you're spending too much time on one subject."
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