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Comeback of the Night

07/31/1998


Hoax?  True story?  Who cares?  It's a great comeback:

>> Dixon, IL- Police arrested Jon Terrence McCarter, a 27 year old white
>> male, resident of Dixon, IL, in the Sanderson pumpkin patch at 11:38pm
>> Friday.  McCarter will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior,
>> public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse Monday.
>> 
>> The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he
>> decided to stop.  "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and
>> there was no one around here for miles.  At least I thought there wasn't."
>> he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail.
>> 
>> McCarter went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road,
>> picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a
>> hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need". "I guess I was
>> just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
>> 
>> In the process, McCarter apparently failed to notice the Dixon Municipal
>> police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer
>> Brenda Taylor approached him.
>> 
>> "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor.  "I
>> walked up to (McCarter) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."
>> Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached McCarter.
>> 
>> "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you
>> are screwing a pumpkin?' He got real surprised as you'd expect and then
>> looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Damn... is it
>> midnight already?"
>> 
>> Taylor arrested him but said that the suspect accepted his predicament
>> in good humor.  "I have to give him credit... that was a quick comeback"
>> Taylor said of the man's comment.

Note that by the defendent's own story, he had been driving while intoxicated.

Mark Amidon      (978) 555-1592  | "I was dreaming when I wrote this;
Agent of Chaos,                  |  forgive me if it goes astray."
Strange Attractor,               |    - next year's music virus
Proud Papa                       |    - Prince Rogers Nelson



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