(Fwd) JOKE: Alcohol warning labels

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The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol
bottles, such as:

  15. WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may make you
      think you are whispering when you are not.

  14. WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may cause you to
      tell the same boring story over and over again
      until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

  13. WARNING:  consumption of alcohol is a major factor
      in dancing like an asshole.

  12. WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may cause you to
      thay shings like thish.

  11. WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may lead you to
      believe that ex-lovers  are  really dying for you
      to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

  10. WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may cause you to
      tell the same boring story over and over again
      until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

  9.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may leave you
      wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

  8.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may cause you to
      roll over in the morning  and see something really
      scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

  7.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol is the leading
      cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

  6.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may create the
      illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter
      than some really, really big guy named Chuck.

  5.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may lead you to
      believe you are invisible.

  4.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may lead you to
      think people are laughing WITH you.

  3.  WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx
      in the time-space continuem, whereby small (and
      sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally
      disappear".

  2.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may cause you to
      tell the same boring story over and over again
      until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

  1.  WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually
      CAUSE pregnancy.


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------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bob Bruhin O-                                           oehuvao@sbex.bet
                     http://www.fork.org/~bruhinb/
 
         "Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster."
                                    -- Fredrich William Nietsche