HUMOR: Pure Code (fwd)

Ok, so it's non-moto related. There's a big surpirse.

heh.

Cate

Catherine Leonard | yhane23@ibvprarg.pbz | pyrbaneq@nfgeb.bpvf.grzcyr.rqh
Ruby Rad:  1994 BMW K75/A    DoD Conformist (To The Stars!) #1482, UB19
Mehitabel: 1981 Honda CM400 Custom             EMotBO#5
        When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.


---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1998 17:31:07 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: HUMOR: Pure Code


  Date: 1998/09/27
  Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet.d
  Subject: Re: Perl & Java - differences and uses 
  From: "Felix S. Gallo" <sft@arjfthl.pbz>
  Newsgroups: comp.lang.java.programmer, comp.lang.perl.misc, comp.lang.python

  The indefatigable George Reese writes:
  >Freedom has no place in programming.  Period.

  Here we discover the crux of the problem: George Reese believes that
  hilariously nonsensical dogma, stated in an authoritative way, is a
  feasible substitute for a forebrain.

  Here's to the hope that George follows the path of the truth and the
  light by boycotting all systems written in 'free' languages, such as
  Perl, C++, and C.  Of course, he might have a difficult time surfing
  the Internet; or, for that matter, logging on.  Or powering up his
  computer; or indeed driving to work.  It may be complex, in fact, for
  him to operate his microwave -- and in the event that that means he's
  late for work because he couldn't get his coffee, it'll be very
  difficult indeed for him to contact his employer, either via e-mail,
  the telephone system, a cab he flags down to the corner, a telegram,
  a courier service, a police report, smoke signals (the fire
  department might get involved), the postal service, or skywriting.  
  So perhaps quitting his job, George will have to subsist without
  power, water, temperature control, sewage service, or mass produced
  candles, matches, batteries, flashlights, glow sticks or mail-
  ordered lightning bugs.  He obviously can't obtain food from society,
  because of the distribution system, factory automation, packaging,
  design, and of course research, development, agriculture,
  preservatives, additives, and cash registers (not to mention his own
  bank account, checking system, ATM card, credit card, and cash).  
  But another dilemma pops up: all modern weapons are machined and
  mass-produced by computer (and here we are again with the design,
  packaging and distribution taint).

  So George will be living out his programmatically pure philosophy
  working out his easily maintainable python code in dirt with a stick,
  in between his desperate attempts to collect enough rainwater to
  nourish his stunted seedlings.  When winter comes, one hopes George
  has been able to run enough python in his head to design a sturdy
  hole in the ground to huddle in next to his hoard of dessicated elk
  meat.  If he is able to survive the winter by killing enough ground
  squirrels to fashion a coat strung together with a sharpened rat's
  tooth and wound-up squirrel tendon, he will be able to emerge
  stumbling from his hovel, squinting at the glare of the spring sun,
  ragged and disheveled, and raise a bandy fist to shake at the Boeing
  757 making a distant line against the cloudless morning, and through
  rotted teeth, curse the horrifically poor technology that will surely
  one day fall to the majestic brilliance of pure languages like
  python.

  Until such a day comes, I hope that George will forgive those of us
  who make a living writing code in finite time with finite resources.  
  Yes, George, one day the academics will rise up and overthrow the
  rancid disease that is capitalism and the shoddy, dangerous mendacity
  that is Perl.  I'm sure it will happen any day now; the signs are all
  there, you bet.  But for now, forebearance, brother!

  Felix Gallo
  hey, maybe you can get the cabin next to Kaczinski!