The Comeback Line of the Century

Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year old white male
resident of Wilmington, NC, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 pm Friday. Davidson
will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and
public intoxication at the County Courthouse on Monday.

The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he
decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there
was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't." he
stated in a phone interview from the County Courthouse jail.

Davidson went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road picked
out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in
it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need". "I guess I was just really
into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the Wilmington
Municipal police car approaching and was unaware of his audience, until > >
officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's
for sure." said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Davidson) and he's...just
working away at this pumpkin."  Taylor went on to describe what happened
when she approached Davidson.

"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are
screwing a pumpkin?'

He got real surprised as you'd expect and then looked me straight in the
face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn... is it midnight already?"