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JESSE VENTURA'S CAMPAIGN PROMISES

1. Lower unemployment

2. Lessen the tax burden of the average citizen

3. Deliver a lesson in pain to Wisconsin, making that state
wish it had never disrespected its common border, delivering
blow after blow in a lesson in cruelty the likes of which
has yet to be seen. You know your time is coming, Wisconsin!
Wisconsin will beg for mercy, and Wisconsin's cries are
going to be loud and sad, like the pitiful, pathetic state
it is! Don't think Minnesota has forgotten about the folding
chair that night in Madison--oh no.  That's gonna be repaid...
repaid a thousandfold, in a feverish hurricane of
flying fists and body blows! Michigan and the Dakotas had
better watch themselves, because once Wisconsin goes down,
Minnesota's gonna be looking for them, too! Mark my words --
it's gonna be a Minnesota midwestern massacre, and
Wisconsin can start cowering and trying to hide now. But
Minnesota knows where you are, Wisconsin! Minnesota knows
where to find you!  You ain't getting away this time. You're
too big to hide, and Minnesota's gonna fight you until there's
only one state standing! Like I always say, -- win if you can,
lose if you must, but always CHEAT!

4. Cut down on crime.