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FW: [Fwd: Questions]

02/17/1999


My favorite is the one about the gorilla's nostrils.

Thomas Hirsch, AIA

Phone:  608.233.7797
e-mail: guvefpu@pubehf.arg

-----Original Message-----
From: Joseph N. Weintraub [znvygb:wjrva@nppa.bet]
Sent: Monday, February 15, 1999 10:47 AM
To: James M. Self; Rachel Sternberg; Isaiah Weintraub; Levi
Weintraub;
Tom Hirsch; Rick Hack
Subject: [Fwd: Questions]






Questions???

>>>How do crazy people go through the forest?
>>>They take the psychopath.
>>>
>>>How do you get holy water?
>>>Boil the hell out of it.
>>>
>>>What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
>>>Polaroid's.
>>>
>>>What do prisoners use to call each other?
>>>Cell phones.
>>>
>>>What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
>>>A stick.
>>>
>>>What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
>>>Nacho Cheese.
>>>
>>>What do you call Santa's helpers?
>>>Subordinate Clauses
>>>
>>>What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
>>>Quatro sinko.
>>>
>>>What do you get from a pampered cow?
>>>Spoiled milk.
>>>
>>>What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
>>>Frostbite.
>>>
>>>What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell
out of a tree
>>>would kill you?
>>>A pool table.
>>>
>>>What is a zebra?
>>>26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
>>>
>>>What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
>>>A nervous wreck.
>>>
>>>What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a
rectal
>>>thermometer?
>>>The taste.
>>>
>>>What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
>>>Anyone can roast beef.
>>>
>>>Where do you find a no legged dog?
>>>Right where you left him.
>>>
>>>Why are there so many Johnson's in the phone book?
>>>They all have phones.
>>>
>>>Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
>>>They're trying to get away from the noise.
>>>
>>>Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
>>>Because they have big fingers.
>>>
>>>A guy goes into a Chinese bar and says, "How 'bout a
Stoly?"
>>>The bartender says, "Once upon a time . . . ."
>>>
>>>What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a
grocery bag?
>>>One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to
play with
>>> . . the other is used to carry groceries.
>>>
>>>Why do Italians hate Jehovah's Witnesses?
>>>Italians hate ALL witnesses.
>>>
>>>A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables around his
neck. The
bartender
>>>says,
>>>"All right, I'll let ya stay---but don't start nuthin."
>>>
>>>Charlie Manson is sitting before the parole board.  He
says, "Is it
hot
>>>in here or am I crazy?"
>>>
>>>Did you hear about the Amish woman who wanted a divorce?
>>>Her husband was driving her buggy.
>>>
>>>A guy is driving down the street.  A cop pulls him over
and says,
"Sir,
>>>were you aware that your wife fell out of the car about a
mile back?"
>>>The guy says, "Oh, thank God!  I thought I went deaf."
>>>
>>>What do you call a dog with no legs?
>>>It doesn't matter.  He won't come anyway.
>>>
>>>A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer and a
mop."
>>>
>>>What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with
an Atheist?
>>>Someone who knocks on your door for no reason.
>>>
>>>What's the different between a Jehovah Witness and a
Yugo?
>>>You can slam the door on a Jehovah Witness.
>>>
>>>:>)  :>)


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