FW: You Might be a YANKEE if.........

> Subject:	Fwd: You Might be a YANKEE if.........
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>       After all of those redneck jokes it took this long for all of the 
>       Yankee jokes to start!!!
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>       :)
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> ______________________________ Forward Header
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> Subject: Fwd: You Might be a YANKEE if.........
> Author:  Erqqryivf@nby.pbz at Internet-Mail 
> Date:    11/10/98 8:52 PM
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>      Sorry Lin!
> From:  (LCNN20A) TERRY NEWBY
> Subject:  You Might be a YANKEE if......... 
> Date:  11/10
> Time:  05:35 PM
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> 36 Signs You Might Be A Yankee
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>  1.You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside." 
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>  2.You think Heinz Ketchup is spicy. 
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>  3.You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" 
> correctly.
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>  4.For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits. 
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>  5.You don't know what a moon pie is. 
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>  6.You've never had grain alcohol. 
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>  7.You've never, ever, eaten Okra. 
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>  8.You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork. 
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>  9.You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen 
> are on road trips. 
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> 10.You have no idea what a polecat is. 
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> 11.Whenever someone tells an off-color joke about farm animals, it 
> goes over your head. 
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> 12.You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle. 
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> 13.You don't have bangs. 
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> 14.You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags. 
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> 15.More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of 
> the same prep school in Connecticut. 
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> 16.You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get 
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> his own TV fishing show. 
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> 17.Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call 
> them "you guys," even if both of them are women. 
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> 18.You don't think Howard Stern has an accent. 
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> 19.You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-and-knife 
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> show. 
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> 20.You think more money should go to important scientific research at 
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> your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach. 
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> 21.You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the 
> house. 
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> 22.The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from 
> getting on an on-ramp on the highway. 
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> 23.You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores. 
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> 24.The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at 
> Neiman-Marcus. 
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> 25.You call binoculars opera glasses. 
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> 26.You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side 
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> of the road and stopping. 
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> 27.You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt. 
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> 28.You don't know what applique is. 
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> 29.Most of your formative high school sexual experiences took place 
> within the context of a football game. 
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> 30.You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy 
> Bob, Kay-Bob, Bob Bob). 
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> 31.You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make 
> one. 
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> 32.You've never been to a craft show. 
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> 33.You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you. 
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> 34.You can't do your laundry without quarters. 
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> 35.None of your fur coats are homemade. 
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> 36.You don't have a burning desire to own an AK47. 
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