FW: Y'all'd NEVER hear a Southerner say ........... (fwd)

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> Sent:	Wednesday, November 04, 1998 4:55 PM
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> Subject:	FW: Y'all'd NEVER hear a Southerner say ........... (fwd)
> 
> The top things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say ever, no matter
> > how much they've had to drink, no matter how far from the South
> > they've wandered and no matter how much the skunks are threatening...
> > 41.  "Nope, no more for me.  I'm drivin tonight."
> > 40, " Oh I just couldn't, hell, she's only sixteen."
> > 39.  "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
> > 38.  Duct tape won't fix that.
> > 37.  Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
> > 36.  Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
> > 35.  We don't keep firearms in this house.
> > 34.  Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
> > 33.  You can't feed that to the dog.
> > 32.  I thought Graceland was tacky.
> > 31.  No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
> > 30. Wrasslin's fake.
> > 29.  Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
> > 28.  We're vegetarians.
> > 27.  Do you think my gut is too big?
> > 26.  I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
> > 25.  Honey, we don't need another dog.
> > 24.  Who's Richard Petty?
> > 23.  Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
> > 22.  Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
> > 21.  Spittin is such a nasty habit.
> > 20.  I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
> > 19.  Trim the fat off that steak.
> > 18.  Cappuccino tastes better that espresso.
> > 17.  The tires on that truck are too big.
> > 16.  I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
> > 15.  I've got it all on the C drive.
> > 14.  Unsweetened tea tastes better.
> > 13.  Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
> > 12.  My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
> > 11.  I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
> > 10.  Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
> > 9.  Checkmate.
> > 8.  She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
> > 7.  Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
> > 6.  Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
> > 5.  I don't have a favorite college team.
> > 4.  Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
> > 3.  I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
> > 2.  Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
> > And the #1 thing you would NEVER hear a Southerner say is
> > 1.     Elvis who?
> >
> >
> >
> 
> 
> 
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