FW: You know you are a native New Orleanian if:

> -----Original Message-----
> From:	Robert F H Ritch [FZGC:oboevgpu@tngr.arg]
> Sent:	Tuesday, November 24, 1998 12:05 PM
> To:	Vehaskari, Ginger; O'Regan, Lester; O'Regan, Alan; Manfe, Louise
> Subject:	Fw: You know you are a native New Orleanian if:
> 
> 
> 
> > Subject:	FW: You know you are a native New Orleanian if:
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > > Subject:	You know you are a native New Orleanian if:
> > >
> > > YOU KNOW YOU ARE A NATIVE NEW ORLEANIAN IF:
> > >
> > > Your sunglasses fog up when you step outside.
> > >
> > > You no longer worry about being below sea level.
> > >
> > > The only four seasons you know are: shrimp, crab, crawfish and oyster.
> > >
> > > You consider reinforcing your attic to store more beads.
> > >
> > > First thing you do before starting the coffee is make a pot of rice
> > > (or a roux).
> > >
> > > You were a high school graduate before you realized the two major
> > > religions were not Catholic and Public.
> > >
> > > Your town is low on the education chart, high on the obesity chart and
> > > you don't care because you know it is #1 on the PARTY CHART.
> > >
> > > You know that the Eastbank is on the north side of the River and the
> > > Westbank is on the south side of the River.
> > >
> > > You consider it an honor on occasion to have coconuts thrown at you.
> > >
> > > You think purple, green and gold look good together and will even eat
> > > food those colors.
> > >
> > > Your baby's first words are "long beads".
> > >
> > > You're walking in the quarter with a go cup and it starts to rain and
> > > you cover your beer instead of your head.
> > >
> > > You take coffee and seasonings with you on vacation.
> > >
> > > You call tomato sauce "red gravy".
> > >
> > > You knock little old ladies down for a good throw.
> > >
> > > You are not afraid if somebody tells you they want to "axe" you.
> > >
> > > You eat sno-balls instead of throwing them.
> > >
> > > You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas correctly and without laughing.
> > >
> > > You are not alarmed by finding toy dolls in your pastries.
> > >
> > > You refer to a certain hue as K&B purple.
> > >
> > > You drink Dixie instead of singing it.
> > >
> > > You would not be caught dead with a Pat O's hurricane.
> > >
> > > You are not alarmed by seeing ships pass over your house.
> > >
> > > You don't keep newspapers for recycling, but for placemats at crawfish
> > > boils.
> > >
> > > You exhibit "doubloon reflex" by stomping runaway quarters with your
> > > foot.
> > >
> > > You stop killing cockroaches because you know that they are the weak
> > > and infirm ones and it would only be making the species stronger.
> > >
> > > You know the best "doughnuts" are square and have no holes.
> > >
> > > You refer to the Civil War as the "Late Unpleasantries".
> > >
> > > You sound nothing like Harry Connick Jr or those actors from "The Big
> > > Easy".
> > >
> > > You trust the word of a woman named "Hoda".
> > >
> > > You complain about how the tourists and cabbies drive as you run your
> > > fifth red light in eight blocks.
> > >
> > > You don't giggle when you refer to your ex-mayor as Dutch or Moon.
> > >
> > > You refer to a place in relation to bodies of water and not points on
> > > a compass.
> > >
> > > You tell someone how you are when they ask "where y'at?"
> > >
> > > You know where you "got dem shoes."
> > >
> > > Your favorite team wins the first four games and you celebrate.
> > >
> > > Your favorite team loses the next eight and you still pay money to go
> > > to the game.
> > >
> > > While at the losing game you keep your dignity by wearing paper sacks
> > > on your head.
> > >
> > > You complain about the four or five month summer, but feel great when
> > > the Northerners are shoveling snow.
> > >
> > > You know you are a native New Orleanian if you could never ever live
> > > anywhere else in the world.
> > >
> > >
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