This is fuckin' funny! (fwd)

Dear Kindhearted Friends...

Now that the holiday season has passed,
please look into your heart to help
those in need.

Enron executives in our very own country are
living at or just below the
seven-figure salary level. And, as if that
weren't bad enough, they will be
deprived of it as a result of the bankruptcy
and current SEC investigation.

But now, you can help! For only $20,835 a
month, about $694.50 a day (that's
less than the cost of a large screen
projection TV) you can help an Enron
executive remain economically viable during
his time of need. This
contribution by no means solves the problem,
as it barely covers their per
diem, ...but it's a start!

Almost $700 may not seem like a lot of money
to you, but to an Enron exec it
could mean the difference between a vacation
spent sucking ass in DC,
golfing
in Florida or a Mediterranean cruise. For
you, seven hundred dollars is
nothing more than rent, a car note or
mortgage payments. But to an Enron
exec
$700 will almost replace his per diem.

Your commitment of less than $700 a day will
enable an Enron exec to buy
that
home entertainment center, trade in the
year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or
enjoy a weekend in Rio.

HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?
Each month, you will receive a complete
financial report on the exec you
sponsor. Detailed information about his
stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate,
and other investment holdings will be mailed
to your home.

You'll also get information on how he plans
to invest his golden parachute.
Imagine the joy as you watch your executive's
portfolio double or triple!
Plus upon signing up for this program, you
will receive a photo of the exec
(unsigned-for a signed photo, please include
an additional$50.00). Put the
photo on your refrigerator to remind you of
other peoples' suffering.

HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?
Your Enron exec will be told that he has a
SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to
help in a time of need. Although the exec
won't know your name, he will be
able to make collect calls to your home via a
special operator just in case
additional funds are needed for unexpected
expenses.

YES, I WANT TO HELP!
I would like to sponsor an Enron executive.
My preference is checked below:

[ ] Mid-level Manager
[ ] Director
[ ] Vice President (Higher cost; please
specify which department)
[ ] President (Even higher cost; please
specify which department)
[ ] CEO (Contribution: Average Enron janitor
monthly salary x 700)
[ ] Entire Company
[ ] I'll sponsor an Exec most in need. Please
select one for me.

*It's just that easy ? do it now!* Please
charge the account listed below
___________ per day and send me a picture of
the Enron executive I have
sponsored, along with my very own Enron "Keep
America Strong" Sponsor an
Enron Exec: Ask Me How!" t-shirt to wear
proudly.

Your Name: _______________________ Telephone
Number:_______________________
Account Number: _______________________
Exp.Date:_______
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ]American Express [
] Discover '
Signature: _______________________

Mail completed form to "The Invisible Hand"
or call 1-900-2MUCH now to
enroll
by phone.Note: Sponsors are not permitted to
contact the executive they have
sponsored,either in person or by other means
including, but not limited to,
telephone calls, letters,e-mail, or third
parties.

Keep in mind that the executive you have
sponsored will be much too busy
enjoying his free time, thanks to your
generous donations.

Contributions are not tax-deductible.




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Thank You.
___________________________________________________




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