FWD: Dilbert's Laws of Work (fwd)

> 
> > "DILBERT'S LAWS OF WORK "
> >
> >   A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the
> >   butt.
> >
> >   Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be
> >   promoted.
> >
> >   It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've
> >   done and what you're going to do.
> >
> >   After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the
> >   month than you did before.
> >
> >   The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
> >
> >   You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a
> >   clipboard.
> >
> >   Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse
> >   will happen to you the rest of the day.
> >
> >   When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never
> >   talking about themselves.
> >
> >   If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a
> >   damn fool about it.
> >
> >   There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car
> >   when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
> >
> >   Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
> >
> >   Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
> >
> >   Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail
> >   hour.
> >
> >   To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.
> >
> >   Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she
> >   is supposed to be doing.
> >
> >   Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the
> >   mail.
> >
> >   If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are
> >   really good, you will get out of it.
> >
> >   You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your
> >   desk.
> >
> >   People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
> >
> >   If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
> >
> >   At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the
> >   number of pens that person is carrying.
> >
> >   When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
> >
> >   Following the rules will not get the job done.
> >
> >   Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
> >
> >   When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily
> >   by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle
> >   this?"
> >
> >   No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
> >
> >   The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for
> >   everything that goes wrong.
>