Fw: Re: muffins

Hey y'all!  I thought you'd like this.

jeremy

> 25 WAYS THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF MICROSOFT WERE 
> HEADQUARTERED IN
> MINNESOTA
> 
> 1.  Their #1 product would be Microsoft Storm Windows.
> 2.  Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get a walleye.
> 3.  Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with frost
pictures.
> 4.  Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Yah, sure" or "Thanks very
much, not      right now, but maybe later."
> 5.  Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be a car 
> with a cold battery
> cranking over and over and over and over...
> 6.  The "Recycle Bin" in Storm Windows '95 would be an 
> ice-fishing house.
> 7.  Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear 
> "Kirrrrrby Puckett!!!"
> 8.  Instead of "Start Me Up," the Windows '95 theme song 
> would be the Gedney Pickles jingle.
> 9.  PowerPoint would be named "Don'tPoint" because 
> "power" is just too aggressive and pointing isn't polite, anyway, don't
you 
> know.
> 10.  Microsoft's programming tools would be "Visual 
> Lutheran" and "Visual Evangelical Lutheran."
> 11.  Storm Windows 95's logo would incorporate a hotdish.
> 12.  Microsoft Word would be Microsoft Apology.
> 13.  Instead of WWW servers, Microsoft would have 3M 
> servers.
> 14.  New Shutdown WAV: "Do you have to leave so soon? 
> Have another cup of coffee, dear."
> 15.  Instead of VPs, Microsoft big shots would be called 
> "Winter Carnival Royalty."
> 16.  Hardware could be repaired using parts from used 
> appliances bought at garage sales for 50 cents apiece.
> 17.  Microsoft Office replaced with Microsoft Skyway.
> 18.  Five words: Norwegian Bachelor Farmer Screen Saver.
> 19. Well, the first thing you know, Bill is known as 
> "that nice man up the block who sponsors the Little League team."
> 20.  Spreadsheet software would include examples to 
> inventory prize-winning jam and pickle recipes from the State Fair.
> 21.  Flight Simulator replaced by Driving Your Pickup Out 
> on the Lake Ice in Late March simulator.
> 22.  Microsoft CEO: Mr. Gates. We want to be respectful, 
> don't we?
> 23.  Car block heater plug'n'play interface.
> 24.  Screen saver would be a guy shoveling his driveway 
> and then the snowplow coming through and pushing a mound across the
driveway 
> bottom.  (Or, a Zamboni circling the screen...)
> 25.  Instructions for use would include "Please press the 
> control key when you have a minute, okay?"