Evolution of B5 Humor (was Re: Oldest joke in the galaxy)

Oldest joke in the galaxy...

The evolution of humor


Version 1.0

Lorien (to himself):  Knock, Knock.
Lorien (responding to himself):  Hello.

[He hadn't worked all the bugs out yet]


Version 1.1

Lorien (to himself):  Knock, Knock.
Lorien (responding to himself):  Who's there?
Lorien (to himself):  Lorien.
Lorien (responding to himself):  Come in.

[Closer but still not there]


Version 1.2

Lorien (to himself):  Knock, Knock.
Lorien (responding to himself):  Who's there?
Lorien (to himself):  Lorien.
Lorien (responding to himself): Lorien who?
Lorien (to himself):  Lorien the First One.
Lorien (responding to himself):  Oh, come in then.

[Correct format, but no actual humor content]


Version 2.0

Lorien (to himself):  Knock, Knock.
Lorien (responding to himself):  Who's there?
Lorien (to himself):  John.
Lorien (responding to himself): John who?
Lorien (to himself):  Fooled you, it's actually Lorien.

[Almost a joke, but not quite]


Version 2.1

Lorien (to himself):  Knock, Knock.
Lorien (responding to himself):  Who's there?
Lorien (to himself):  Lorien.
Lorien (responding to himself): Lorien who?
Lorien (to himself):  Lorien, the First One who's bored out
                      of his mind only being the only sentient
                      in the galaxy and is talking to himself.

[A minor setback as depression sets in]


Version 2.2

Lorien (to himself):  Knock, Knock.
Lorien (responding to himself):  Who's there?
Lorien (to himself):  Lorien.
Lorien (responding to himself): Lorien who?
Lorien (to himself):  Lori 'n John.

[Back on track and close, but still not funny]


Version 3.0

Lorien (to himself):  Knock, Knock.
Lorien (responding to himself):  Who's there?
Lorien (to himself):  Lorien.
Lorien (responding to himself): Lorien who?
Lorien (to himself):  Lorien en en en en en en Neee Whom!

[A laugh riot at the time but you had to have been there,
 (it's suspected that pharmaceuticals were involved)]


This sequence goes on for many years until othere members of
his race develop sentience.  Lorien kept trying versions of his
joke on them until they finally began to understand what was 
needed.  They then opened the joke themselves with...

Version 863.1

Another First One: Knock, Knock
Lorien: Who's there?
AFO: Will
Lorian:  Will who?
AFO: Will you _Please_ just go away and stop it with the damm
     knock, knock jokes!

and

Version 863.2

First One 1: Knock, Knock
First One 2: Who's there?
FO1: First One
FO2: FIrst One who?
FO1: First One to shut Lorien up gets this nifty barometer


At which time, Lorien left his race to go exploring.  After some time, 
he encountered the Shadows and the Vorlons and began asking them stupid,
pointless question.  When they asked why he was doing this, Lorien 
explained that it was part of an ancient tradition of annoying all beings 
that come after you.  The two races took the idea to heart but also had
trouble mastering it...

The Vorlons never got past the opening, resulting in the following...

Lorien: Knock, Knock
Vorlon: Who are you?
Lorien: Lorien.
Vorlon: Who are you?
Lorien: I said Lorien.
Vorlon: Who are you?
Lorien: No, no, no.  You're supposed to say, "Lorien who?"
Vorlon: Who are you?
Lorien: Aren't you listening to me?
Vorlon: Who are you?
Lorien: Ok fine, let's start this over.
Vorlon: Who are you?
Lorien: No wait until I say, "Knock, Knock."
Vorlon: Who are you?
Lorien: Oh, I give up.
Vorlon: Who are you?
   (and so on)

And the Shadows weren't much better...

Lorien: Knock, Knock
Shadow: What do you want?
Lorien: No you're supposed to say "Who's there"
Shadow: Oh, "Who's there"
Lorien: Lorien
Shadow: What do you want?
Lorien: No, it's "Lorien who!"
Shadow: Lorien who wants what?
Lorien: Lorien who wants to come in, that's the set-up for the joke
Shadow: We can arrange that.
Lorien: Good, let's start over then....  Knock, Knock
Shadow: What do you want?
Lorien: Why are you doing this!?


When the Shadows and the Vorlons finally met though, 
things just got worse...

Vorlon: The avalance has started, the pebbles knock against the wind.
Shadow: Skre'eKMfsdJree'tQiiiWEJ?
Vorlon: Reflections.
Shadow: "Reflections" KK'rrrEElosh'h?
Vorlon: Yes.

and

Shadow: KKrrr'k, KKrrr'k
Vorlon: I have always been here.
Shadow: Ssdfgo;weri'uwER WTe'rtuiwfeg'SDFG
Vorlon: Impudent!

Which goes a long way towards explaining the animosity between 
these two races.

Meanwhile, Lorien was back on his homeworld, experimenting with 
chickens, lightbulbs and elephants and generally making a mess.  
It was around this time that the other members of his race stopped 
caring about being immortal, they just couldn't stand the idea of 
it anymore.

The moral of this lesson is that basically, none of the First Ones
had any sense of humor.