How to tell if you should be a sysadmin... (fwd)

This is mostly for Eric.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Thu, 23 Oct 1997 13:05:02 -0400 (EDT)
From: Nev Dull <ari@obfgvp.pbz>
To: ari@obfgvp.pbz (/dev/null)
Subject: I'm really drawing a blank here... "Wargames"?
Forwarded-by: Mark Feit <zsrvg@HH.ARG>
Forwarded-by: C Wayne Huling <jnlar@fzo.ynep.anfn.tbi>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Oracle most wise and wonderful,
>
>       I am at a career crossroads; should I become an astronaut, a
> fireman, or a sysadmin?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

This is the kind of question that these "handy comparison charts" were
just made to answer:

PURPOSE OF YOUR CAREER
Astronaut:  Advancing scientific knowledge for the good of humanity.
Fireman:    Saving lives and property.
Sysadmin:   Assuring uninterrupted access to alt.binaries.erotica.sheep.

ADVICE YOU'LL GIVE KIDS WHO WANT TO FOLLOW IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS
Astronaut:  "Study science and math and eat your vegetables."
Fireman:    "Study science and math and eat your vegetables."
Sysadmin:   "DON'T DO IT!  RUN AWAY!"

QUESTION YOU'LL BE MOST TIRED OF ANSWERING
Astronaut:  "Where do you go to the bathroom?"
Fireman:    "Do you really slide down a pole when the alarm goes off?"
Sysadmin:   "Can't you do anything about all this spam I've been
             getting?"

WILL YOU EVER BE ON TV?
Astronaut:  Yes!
Fireman:    Occasionally.
Sysadmin:   Only MSNBC's "The Site," which doesn't technically count as
            TV.

WILL YOUR JOB EVER GET ANY EASIER?
Astronaut:  As computers get more and more advanced and able to control
            more of the functions of the space vehicle, yes.
Fireman:    As more and more people install smoke detectors in their
            homes, yes.
Sysadmin:   As more and more clueless newbies discover the Internet,
            absolutely not.

INSPIRING MOVIE ABOUT YOUR PROFESSION
Astronaut:  "The Right Stuff"
Fireman:    "Backdraft"
Sysadmin:   Uh... gee, I'm really drawing a blank here... "Wargames"?

YOUR WORK HOURS
Astronaut:  Fairly long days during the mission, but lots and lots of
            time between missions to relax.
Fireman:    24-hour shifts, but 48 hours between shifts to relax.
Sysadmin:   Not really "work hours" or even "work days"... more like
            "work millenia."

FRINGE BENEFITS OF YOUR JOB
Astronaut:  Lots of good stories to tell to impress members of the
            opposite sex.
Fireman:    Lots of good stories to tell to impress members of the
            opposite sex.
Sysadmin:   You get ALL of the jokes in "Dilbert."

NUMBER OF COMPLAINTS ABOUT YOUR PROFESSION
Astronaut:  A few, from people who think the government should be
            spending its money in different ways.
Fireman:    A few, from people who think you take too long to arrive
            following a 911 call.
Sysadmin:   You'll have to learn what comes after "trillion" to be able
            to count them all.
 
YOUR VEHICLE
Astronaut:  Multimillion-dollar space vehicle atop multimillion-dollar
            rocket.
Fireman:    Big red truck with flashing lights and siren.
Sysadmin:   1978 AMC Gremlin.

In conclusion, if the sysadmin option has seemed the most appealing in
even one of these categories, you should become a sysadmin.

Can't you do anything about all this spam I've been getting?

------- End of Forwarded Message