for the bikers

Forwarded-by: Rehmi Post <eruzv@zrqvn.zvg.rqh>

In case you've never ridden a british bike, this should give the flavor.
	
	-rehmi

From: zbber@cebsfp.sfy.abnn.tbi (Mark Moore ZBBER@SFY.ABNN.TBI)
>       The fog is thick on the cold, grey morning. The fields
>       are golden brown and dew covered. After hiking for a few
>       hours, the solitary shed rises above the horizon. The door
>       hinges are rusted shut. A few laborous minutes later, the
>       doors creak open. A shaft of sun light bursts through the 
>       clouds and into the darkness revealing the outline of a
>       hand restored Triumph. 

There is a puddle of oil here.
There is a clean rag here.
There is a can of oil here.
There is a key here.
A hollow voice says "plugh".

--> wipe oil
With what? Your bare hands?

--> wipe oil with rag
You don't have the rag.

--> get rag
Ok.

--> wipe oil with rag
The oil has been cleaned up.

--> check oil
The oil tank is empty.

--> empty can
The oil tank is half-full.

--> squeeze rag
The oil drips out of the rag into the tank. The oil tank is now full.

--> insert key in ignition
You don't have the key.

--> get key
Ok.

--> insert key in ignition
The key is in the ignition.

--> turn key
Which way?

--> Turn key clockwise.
Nothing happens.

--> curse prince darkness
Nothing seems to happen, but an eerie feeling of readiness springs from the
Triumph.

--> kick triumph
Why would you want to kick the Triumph?

--> kickstart triumph
You're not on the Triumph.

--> mount triumph
Why would you want to mount the Triumph?

--> get on triumph
You are now seated on the Triumph.

--> kickstart triumph
The Triumph emits a cacaphony of strangled popping noises and falls silent
again.

--> close choke
The choke on the ancient Amal carburettor is now closed.

--> tickle carb
Oooooh! That tickles!

--> kickstart triumph
The Triumph emits a cacaphony of strangled popping noises and falls silent
again.

--> kickstart triumph hard
The Triumph springs to life, emitting a cacaphony of bellowing
and clattering noises.

--> put triumph in gear
What?

--> press left toe
You're already stopped!

--> lift right toe
The Triumph lurches forward two feet and the engine dies.

--> press right toe
The Triumph is in neutral.

--> kickstart triumph hard
The Triumph springs to life, emitting a cacaphony of bellowing
and clattering noises.

--> disengage clutch; lift right toe; engage clutch
The Triumph is in first gear.
The Triumph lurches forward, and keeps going out through the shed doors.
You are at the junction of the driveway and a road running east/west.

--> west
You are heading west along the road.
The Triumph is screaming at high revs in first gear.

--> shift
What?

--> disengage clutch; press right toe; engage clutch
The Triumph is in second gear.
The Triumph accelerates smoothly.
Suddenly, the engine splutters and dies.

--> open petcock
The engine catches again.
A pack of Ducatis passes you at high speed.

--> disengage clutch; press right toe; engage clutch
The Triumph is in third gear.
The Triumph accelerates smoothly.
The pack of Ducatis is now a distant speck on the horizon.

--> catch up
What?

--> catch ducatis
The Triumph accelerates smoothly.
Suddenly, the engine splutters and dies.

--> open choke
The engine catches again.

--> catch ducatis
You can't. Nyah.

--> disengage clutch; press right toe; engage clutch
The Triumph is in fourth gear.
The Triumph accelerates smoothly.
A Honda Civic starts to turn left in front of you.

--> hit brakes
With what? Your bare hands?

--> yes

Ok.
The Triumph slows imperceptably, aided only by the front brake.

--> press right pedal
You're already in fourth gear.

--> press left pedal
The Triumph slows at a slightly higher rate.

--> honk horn
The horn emits a feeble "bleep".
The extra load on the electrical system causes the engine to splutter and die.

--> curse prince darkness
The engine springs to life again.
You successfully avoid the Honda Civic.
You pass a pack of Ducatis that has been pulled over by the police.
There is a junction ahead with a driveway heading south

--> south
You are heading down a rutted dirt driveway at over 60 mph.
There is a brick wall ahead.

--> pluh
What?

--> pugh
What?

--> plugh
You're back in the shed. The light still shines through the doorway.
The Triumph splutters and stops.

--> remove key
Ok.

--> turn off petcock
Ok.

--> dismount triumph
You forgot to put the Triumph on the stand. It tips over and crashes to the
floor. Luckily, there is only minor damage.

--> pick up triumph
What?

--> get triumph
It's too heavy. You'll have to drop something first.

--> inventory
You're holding:
an oil-soaked rag
an empty oil can
a key

--> drop rag
Ok.

--> get triumph
It's too heavy. You'll have to drop something first.
Half of the oil has leaked out of the Triumph's oil tank onto the floor.

--> drop oil can
Ok.

--> drop key
Ok.

--> get triumph
Ok.

--> put triumph on stand
What?

--> stand triumph
The Triumph is sitting on it's stand.

--> where
You are in the shed. A shaft of sun light bursts through the clouds and
into the darkness revealing the outline of a hand restored Triumph.

There is a puddle of oil here.
There is an oil soaked rag here.
There is an empty oil can here.
There is a key here.
A hollow voice says "plugh".

--> close door
The door to the shed is now closed. Your first Triumph adventure is complete.