Hey, why do we pay so much attention to Martha Stewart?

Attributions lost in the maze of senders so long that I fear y'all have
seen this twice.

I'm sending it anyway...
>
 >  Dec. 1
 > Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray-paint gold, turn
 > upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas cards.
 >
 > Dec. 2
 > Have Mormon Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas message for
 > answering machine.
 >
 > Dec. 3
 > Using candlewick and hand-gilded miniature pine cones, fashion
 > cat-o'-nine-tails.  Flog gardener.
 >
 >
 > Dec. 4
 > Address sympathy cards for all friends with elderly relatives, so
 that
 > they're all ready to be mailed the moment death occurs.
 >
 > Dec. 5
 > Get new eyeglasses.  Grind lenses myself.
 >
 > Dec. 6
 > Fax family Christmas newsletter to Pulitzer committee for
 > consideration.
 >
 > Dec. 7
 > Debug Windows 95.
 >
 > Dec. 10
 > Finish needlepoint colostomy bag cozy.
 >
 > Dec. 11
 > Buy some cockroaches from the less fortunate; decorate eggs.
 >
 > Dec. 12
 > Update enemies list.  Place in hermetically sealed vault. Remove
 > air, replace with nitrogen.
 >
 > Dec. 13
 > Visit crematorium.  Collect dentures.  They make excellent pastry
 > cutters, particularly for decorative pie crusts.
 >
 > Dec. 14
 > Install plumbing in gingerbread house.
 >
 >
 > Dec. 15
 > Replace air in minivan tires with Glade "Holiday Scents" in case
 > tires are shot out at the mall.
 >
 >
 > Dec. 17
 > Childproof the Christmas tree with garlands of razor wire.
 >
 >
 > Dec. 19
 > Adjust legs of chairs so each Christmas dinner guest will be the
 > same height when sitting at his or her assigned seat.
 >
 >
 > Dec. 20
 > Dip sheep and cows in egg white and roll in confectioner's sugar
 > to add a festive sparkle to the pasture.
 >
 > Dec. 21
 > Outfit neighborhood rats with tiny antlers.
 >
 > Dec. 22
 > Float votive candles in toilet tank.
 >
 > Dec. 23
 > Seed clouds for white Christmas.
 >
 >
 > Dec. 24
 > Do my annual good deed:  Go to several stores.  Be seen engaged in
 > last-minute Christmas shopping, thus making many people feel less
 > inadequate than they really are.
 >
 > Dec. 25
 > Bear son.  Swaddle.  Lay in color-coordinated manger scented with
 > homemade potpourri.
 >
 > Dec. 26
 > Write and mail Christmas thank-yous.  Order cards for next
 > Christmas.  Estimate number of cards needed by allowing for
 > making new friends and actuarially appropriate death rates for
 > current friends and relatives.
 >
 >
 > Dec. 27
 > Build snowman in exact likeness of God.
 >
 >
 > Dec. 31
 > New Year's Eve! Give staff their resolutions.
 >
 > Call a friend in each time zone of the world as the clock strikes
 > midnight in that country.
 >
 > Jan. 1, 1997
 > Catch up on gardening.  Sew leaves back onto trees.  Do all
 > cooking for 1997.
 >
 >
 > Jan. 3
 > Repaint Sistine Chapel ceiling in ecru, with mocha trim.
 >
 > Jan. 5
 > Drain city reservoir; refill with mulled cider, orange slices and
 > cinnamon sticks.
 >
 > Jan. 7
 > Lay Faberge egg.
 >
 >
 > Jan. 8
 > Freshen air in home by sliding a dozen Dr. Scholl's shoe inserts
 > into heat pump.
 >
 >
 > Jan. 10
 > Make steel wool from mussel beards saved over the years.
 >
 >
 > Jan. 13
 > Spin silk cord to garrotte squid; fill fountain pen with the ink
 > and hand-write staff their dismissal notes.
 >
 >
 > Jan. 15
 > MLK birthday.  Find out who MLK is.
 >
 >
 > Jan. 16
 > Take dog apart.  Disinfect.  Reassemble.
 >
 >
 > Jan. 20
 > Organize spice racks by genus and phylum.
 >
 > Jan. 21
 > Culture ancient DNA into dinosaurs for nieces and nephews.
 >
 > Jan. 23
 > Align carpets to adjust for curvature of Earth.
 >
 >
 > Jan. 25
 > Receive delivery of new phone books.  Old ones make ideal personal
 > address books.  Simply cross out the names and addresses of all the
 > people you do not know.
 >
 > Jan. 26
 > Review the Christmas '95 show and try to understand why Julia Child
 is
 > much beloved even though her croquembouche was very much askew.
 >
 > Jan. 28
 > Attend workshop on obsessive-compulsive disorders.  Take verbatim
 > notes.
 >
 > Jan. 31
 > Gild lilies.
 >
 >
 >
 >
 >
 >
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