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Life's Lessons (fwd)

08/07/1998



Here are some wise words by which to live...

Cate

---------- Forwarded message ----------

	   How To Get Ahead In Life

      1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my
	 inner sociopath.

      2. I have the power to channel my imagination into
	 ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

      3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the
	 ones that are someone else's fault.

      4. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise
	 myself, unless I want to stay employed.

      5. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

      6. Having control over myself is almost as good as having
	control over others.

      7. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment.

      8. I honor my personality flaws for without them I would
	 have no personality at all.

      9. Joan of Arc heard voices, too.

     10. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those
	 censorious, self-righteous people around me.

     11. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan,
	 whimper, and complain.

     12. As I learn the innermost secrets of people around me,
	 they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.

     13. When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is
	 cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.

     14. The first step is to say nice things about myself. The
	 second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find
	 someone to buy me nice things.

     15. As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to
	 carry a gun.

     16. All of me is beautiful, even the ugly, stupid and
	 disgusting parts.

     17. I am at one with my duality.

     18. Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves
	 into knots.

     19. Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing
	 myself with imaginary fears.

     20. I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.

     21. I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless
	 of state and local laws.

     22. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for
	 there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"

     23. False hope is better than no hope at all.

     24. A good scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.

     25. Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in
	 my underwear in the Hollywood Cafe. Instead, I will move
	 my computer into the bedroom.

     26. Who can I blame for my problems? Just give me a
	  minute. . . . I'll find someone.

     27. Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I
	 can spend it worrying about the future?

     28. The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that
	 the conspiracy is working.

     29. I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as
	 sabotage.

     30. Becoming aware of my character defects leads me
	 naturally to the next step of blaming my parents.

     31. To have a successful relationship I must learn to make
	 it look like I'm giving as much as I'm getting.

     32. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is
	 willing to learn from them.

     33. Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That
	 way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.






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