FW: Choir Terms

This is from the handbook of the Triangle Gay Men's Chorus. I thought you
all might enjoy it, being musical types yourselves. The Triangle Gay Men's
Chorus is a Durham chorus that once performed with Common Woman Chorus,
which I used to sing in.

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NOTES FROM THE CHOIR MEMBER'S HANDBOOK

Tonic: What is generally enjoyed over ice after choir rehearsal

Dominant: In a choral relationship, usually the alto

Augmentation: Special surgery for altos involving the implantation of falsettos

Score: Basses 3, Tenors 0

Riff: What happens when someone takes your choir robe.

Contralto: An alto who has been convicted

Polychoral Motet: Six parrots singing "Exultate Justi"

Aleatoric Music: Music composed by the random selection of pitches and
rhythms. Frequently found in the choir anthem.

Basso Continuo: When the director can't get them to stop

Castrato: The highest male voice (some alteration required)

Etude: What comes right before the Beatitudes

Concerto Grosso: An accordion concert

Glissando: What directly precedes the highest note of a descant

Leitmotif: Like a regular motif, but less filling

Polonaise: A condiment frequently put on a parrot sandwich

Recapitulation: What usually happens after you eat a parrot sandwich

Rondo: A popular '60s song, as in "Help, help me, Rondo"

Theme: We hate this anthem.

Theme and Variations: We hate this anthem, the composer, and all of the
composer's relatives.

Sectional Harassment Lawsuit: What happens when the director suggests that
the sopranos "sing from their diaphragm"

Smorzando: The "All-You-Can-Eat" buffet at the Golden Corral

Grand Pause: When the conductor loses her place

Perfect Pitch: Throwing a banjo in the dumpster without hitting the sides

Cantus Firmus: A singer in good physical condition, as opposed to "cantus
phlabbious" (see "sackbut")

Antiphonal: Leaving your answering machine on all the time

Sackbut: A choral singer over 40

Heterophony: The only kind of music allowed at the Southern Baptist Convention

Chorale Partitas: Small choir get-togethers that are frequently interrupted
by the police

Phantasy: An alto in a leather choir robe

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