[xwp@ncbpnylcfr.bet: THIS is the horror]

Date: Wed, 4 Dec 1996 12:59:37 -0500
From: Kafka Dreams <xwp@ncbpnylcfr.bet>
To: ibvq@ncbpnylcfr.bet
Subject: THIS is the horror


MY OS WILL SMITE THEE, HEATHEN!

MY OS was LOVINGLY hand-crafted in the BAVARIAN ALPS by mechanically
adept and cute-as-buttons GNOMES!  Now THEY have an eye for DETAIL!

Look NOT upon that flightless waterfowl of an OS over THERE!  'Tis
OVERRIPE and doth STINKETH.  In TRUTH, its parents DRESSED IT FUNNY!

Nor allow your EYEBALLS to STICK to THAT OS yon, for it will TURN THEE
TO STONE with its inefficient SYSTEM CALLS!

Direct your gaze so that it may ONLY SEE the ONE TRUE OS!  Do not let
your eyes WAVER, for that will prove your FAITHLESSNESS and you will
LOSE your PRIVELEGES!  PUT thy ONE TRUE OS upon a PEDESTAL and
SURROUND it with incense and fresh-cut cedar boughs!  OIL its hide!
PAY it ALL MANNER of compliments!  

OBEY OR BE DOOMED TO AWKWARD AND UNGRACEFUL OS USAGE FOREVER MORE!


Kelly J.
  Alas, Babylon.