[wbfu@rcvybthr.pbz: From Dennis Miller:]

------- Start of forwarded message -------
From: Josh Bluestein <wbfu@rcvybthr.pbz>
To: wbfu@rcvybthr.pbz
Subject: From Dennis Miller:
Date: Thu, 16 May 96 10:52:37 -0400


Sterotyped?  Yes.  Funny?  Oh yeah.

But...ummmm....in really poor taste.  Yeah.

Josh


"and this one is for all the ladies in the house..."

What Women Want from Men 10-1

1. Foreplay is not a privlege.. it's a birthright.

2. If you take her out to a fancy restaurant don't try to subtlely
steer her away from the lobster dinin', Jim.

3. Quit blowing smoke up women's asses about the sanctity and power
they possess as lifegivers and come up with some decent, affordable
child care and that way maybe poor single mothers can go to work, get
off welfare and that we don't have to listen to anymore assholes in
Congress blathering about orphanages.

4. Equal work for equal pay. Look around you at work guys. Look around
you.. at let's say.. Carl, the brain dead, jack-off in the cubicle
next to you.  You could kill Carl, couldn't you? Because he's a
slacking, worthless, toadie idiot. Now imagine making 30% less than
Carl. Hello?

5. O.K., this is very important.. during lovemaking don't ask, "Who's
your daddy?" Even if it's a joke... it's not funny. All right?

6. When her mouth moves.. pay attention words could be coming out.
Words are kind of important.

7. Pass a law that makes it compulsory for all over-the-hill rock
stars to have women their own age in their videos, O.K.?

8. Don't ask her if she came. You're a big boy now Clouseau.. you
should know if she came.

9. Don't tell her how to merge and she won't tell you to ask for
directions.

10. When she catches you cheating on her, and cuts off your dick in
your sleep.. Take it like a man.

"If that's too much to ask.. how 'bout a big fucking diamond the size
of your head."  
"Of course that's just my opinion.. I could be sleeping on the couch."


What Men want from Women 1-10

1. We want you to understand that we don't give a shit about clothes.
All right! Yours or ours. All we need is one pair of tennies and a
pair of church shoes. That's it!

2. Don't talk to us when the television is on. All right! Very
simple.. television is off.. we talk. Television is on.. we don't
talk.

3. When you're behind the wheel of a car and want to get aggressive..
that's fine, but don't give somebody the finger and expect me to
defend your honor when steroid lad comes over swinging a pair of
nunchucks.

4. Would it kill you to watch Godfather with me for the 57th time?

5. Hey, I'm sorry that some of us see a beautiful sunset and think,
"Hey I betcha' my accountant is boning me up the ass!"

6. You go see Nell by yourself. I met enough chicks like that at
Helena's when I was single.

7. Have a sense of humor. Without a sense of humor a relationship
lasts as long as William Burroughs in the Boston Marathon.

8. Work out your job related anger before we have sex. Just because
Helmut, the office boy, brought you a cup of lima bean consomme,
instead of a bowl of lima bean consomme from Soup Plantation... I
don't want to end up in the friction burn groin ward at Ceder's Sinai.

9. Don't ask us to cry. As much as you say you want us to cry... you
hate it when we cry. I've tried crying in front of my wife... she
enjoyed it for about 30 seconds and started thinking, "Why in the fuck
did I marry this hamster?"

10. Be patient. Hold us. Love us unconditionally. Help us out of this
testostorone enduced fog, and lead us into the light...  Or if that's
asking too much how's 'bout a big sloppy blowjob once in awhile!

"Course that's just my opinion..."
"Thank you guys..."
------- End of forwarded message -------